I was twenty-two years old and totally taken off guard by Lacy’s blatant attacks on my beliefs. Apparently, she had heard about my perspectives and beliefs on biblical womanhood and was not impressed.
In fact, offended/annoyed would be the right way to describe her feelings towards me at that time.
During this back and forth “debate” of sorts, I was extremely uncomfortable.
I wasn’t exactly sure how to counter Lacy’s arguments and I was a little insecure about my stance on Scripture and biblical womanhood.
I felt like Lacy was completely demeaning and attacking biblical womanhood and I felt at a loss for words to defend what I believed.
Looking back on that conversation, I now realize that Lacy was buying into almost all 10 of these misconceptions about biblical womanhood. Unfortunately, I was really unequipped to back up my beliefs and Lacy left no better off than where she had started.
Thankfully, that convo inspired me to dig deeper and learn how to backup what I believe is true about biblical womanhood.
My prayer is that these 10 common misconceptions about biblical womanhood will open your eyes to the truth and equip you to better share truth with young women and women around you.
10 Misconceptions About Biblical Womanhood:
1. Biblical womanhood is NOT about being a doormat
This is one of the most popular and common misconceptions you will hear when it comes to this topic. Despite its popularity, it simply isn’t supported by Scripture. Absolutely nowhere in the Bible will you find God encouraging a “doormat” mentality amongst men or women. Think of Esther, Rahab, Ruth, Mary (the mother of Jesus), Abigail and many more.
These women are held up to us as examples of godly, beautiful, biblical women and they are anything but doormats. They are smart, hardworking, talented, gifted and gutsy women all striving to honor God with their lives.
In a nutshell…
Esther – Approaches the King unannounced and risks her life to save the Jews.
Rahab – A former prostitute gives her Life to God and helps the Israelites conquer the city.
Ruth – Selflessly follows her mother in law to a foreign land and works hard to support her.
Mary – Puts her life at risk by accepting the dangerous responsibility of bringing Jesus into the world.
Abigail – Wisely negotiates with David and saves her husband from being killed.
2. Biblical womanhood is NOT about being a wimp
The more I learn about God defined womanhood the more I realize it takes a seriously strong woman to live it out. It’s easy to go with the flow and drift with the cultural current. It’s hard to resist the trends and the modern ideas for womanhood and stick to God’s word and His truth.
Women who truly live out biblical womanhood are really some of the bravest and strongest I know. They are willing to swim against the current and stand alone. Biblical womanhood isn’t for the faint of heart or wimpy. No. Biblical womanhood is for brave women who are willing to fight for truth and embrace God’s Word even when it’s hard.
3. Biblical womanhood is NOT about being less than a man
Whoever started this whole notion that women are “less than men” obviously didn’t read the Bible. The Bible absolutely and completely supports the idea that men and women are created equal. Neither one is more valuable. They are equally valuable but purposely different.
God created man and woman to each fulfill a unique purpose on earth. Different doesn’t mean “less than.” I challenge you to search Scripture and see how God talks about women. I also challenge you to look through the New Testament and notice the way Jesus treated women. He literally went against the cultural norm and treated women with care and respect. He actually spoke to them and treated them with value.
4. Biblical womanhood is NOT about throwing your brain away
One of the reasons Kristen and I wrote Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity was to show women the immense value and purpose they have. There have been many misconceptions about biblical womanhood from Christians and non-Christians alike.
In Girl Defined Kristen and I take you into the lives of four different women, in different seasons of life, each using their lives to live out biblical womanhood and glorify God. In no way have these women checked their brains at the door.
If you are truly living your life with a Christ-centered purpose and eternal mindset, you will need all the brains you can get.
5. Biblical womanhood is NOT about staying at home
Sadly, in our day and age, Christian women have gone to one of two extremes. 1. They idolize the home and assume that if they are inside of the home they are honoring God. 2. They despise the home and assume if they are outside of the home they are successful.
Neither is the right option. We need to get our hearts right and remember the bigger purpose for why we do what we do. The home is hugely important, but, it’s not the home that matters most. It’s the people within the home. It’s taking care of the home to bless the family. It’s using the home to build relationships. It’s inviting people inside to foster community. It’s using the home as a tool to honor and glorify God.
Proverbs 31:10-31 gives us a great picture of how a home can be used in a beautiful way.
6. Biblical womanhood is NOT about just getting married
I’ve seen some incredibly beautiful marriages and I’ve seen a lot of awful ones. I’ve seen girls idolize marriage as the be all and end all and I’ve seen girls reject and embrace total independence from men. Both are wrong mindsets.
We as Christian girls must remember that we are here on a Kingdom mission. God has given us His instruction manual on how we as women can best honor Him. God created marriage as a means for us to better serve Him as a team. He created it for companionship, for reproducing, for pleasure, and as a way for us to represent the gospel. I really encourage you gals to remember that marriage is beautiful, but, the purpose of marriage is to point to Someone greater.
7. Biblical womanhood is NOT about dressing old-fashioned
Drabby clothes, no makeup, scraggly hair, and bad breath. That may be the image some of you think of when you hear the words “biblical womanhood.” I’ve got great news for you gals, that’s a total misconception.
Some of the godliest, most Christ-centered, women I know are also some of the most beautiful. Being a biblical woman isn’t about being old fashioned. Biblical womanhood is about dressing in the way that best represents and honors the purity and holiness of Christ. I seriously encourage you to check out this video on modesty that my sisters and I created. Project Modesty Video
8. Biblical womanhood is NOT about living a boring life
Personal confession time. The more that I’ve strived to live out biblical womanhood, the more exciting my life has become. Seriously, God is full of amazing surprises and living for Him is one adventurous journey.
Living as a biblical woman provides a bigger and greater vision for life. Everything takes on a greater purpose. Everything becomes about the Kingdom. Think about it…
Instead of just going to the grocery store and grabbing groceries, you have the opportunity to build relationships and share the hope and purpose of the gospel.
Instead of just raising kids to grow up and become independent, you have the care of souls and are given the privilege to disciple them.
Life begins to take on a whole new meaning when you live in light of Christ and the gospel.
9. Biblical womanhood is NOT about just doing dishes and scrubbing toilets
Y’all. Really? What even? Yes, these are super important daily tasks that need to be done (to the glory of God of course), but really? Biblical womanhood is about so much more than this. Remember that your living space is a tool for you to nurture relationships, to reproduce life (physically and spiritually), and to care for those around you.
Scrub those toilets and wash those dishes, but, don’t lose sight of the “why” behind the scrubbing. Scrub as a means to love, bless, and disciple those God has placed in your sphere of influence.
10. Biblical womanhood is NOT about you
All in all, we just need to take our eyes off of ourselves. Life isn’t about us. Biblical womanhood isn’t about is. Biblical manhood isn’t about us. The more Christ becomes greater in our eyes (and we become less), the easier this topic will seem.
We need to remove ourselves from the “highest of highs” and remember that it’s all about Christ.
Biblical womanhood is about living all in for Christ and using your one life to make an impact for eternity. It’s about making disciples, sharing the gospel, loving the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, following God’s Word, and doing your best to reflect Christ as a female.
Wrapping it up…
Which of these common misconceptions have you been deceived by?
How does God’s Word debunk the lies you’ve believed about biblical womanhood?