I can’t even begin to count how many of you have asked me for this list of questions. Ever since I announced that Dav (my fiance) and I worked through this list of questions during our dating relationship, hundreds of you have asked me for this list.

If you’re in a relationship, I would encourage you to use this list as a resource to help you get to know your boyfriend/fiance better. If you want to be in a relationship, I encourage you to use this list as a tool to help you think through each one of the answers.

This is a long list, but it does not include everything you need to know or ask.

Remember that you are getting to know a person. This list is simply a tool to help you dig deeper, ask smarter questions, spot red flags, and help you get to know your guy better.

136 Questions to Ask in a Relationship

Your Spiritual Life 

• What are the evidences of your salvation?
• What do you understand to be the role of baptism?
• What about the Lord’s Supper? Who should participate in these
  sacraments?
• What do you understand to be God’s purposes/priorities for the church?
• How important is corporate worship? Other participation in church life?
• What is your view of the Sabbath and the proper use of that day?
• What do you see as the man’s role in the local church? Your own role?
• What do you see as your wife’s role in local church ministry?
• How important is it to be part of a small accountability/support group?
• What would our family devotions look like? Who leads out in this?
• Are we doing this now in an appropriate way: praying together about our
  lives and future, reading the Bible together?
• How do you view age-segregation in the church (youth groups, Sunday
  school)?
• What is your view on the celebration of Christmas and Easter?
• How would those who know you well describe your personal character?
• What is your opinion of personal witnessing?
• What would you say is your spiritual gift(s)?
• What are your spiritual strengths?
• Recognizing we are all imperfect, in what one or two areas do you think God
  wants you to improve most?
• Do you have a teachable spirit? Can you cite any examples?

Your Relationships

• Describe your relationship with your father? Was (is) it honoring? Was (is) it obedient?
• Describe your relationship with your mother? Was (is) it honoring? Was (is) it obedient?
• How many siblings do you have? What are their names, ages, cities of residence? Can you describe your relationship with each of your siblings?
• Can you describe your relationship with your grandparents?
• Can you describe your relationship with your friends? Have you ever been
  peer-dependent? How did you resist this?
• Are you consistently faithful in fulfilling your commitments? Give examples.
• Do you show a regular willingness to serve others? In what ways?
• In what ways is self-centeredness expressed in your life?
• How do you relate to authority in your life? If so, what adjectives would your
  employers use to describe you?
• Have you ever been a supervisor? If so, what adjectives would your
  employees use to describe you?
• Are you ever manipulative of others?
• What kinds of situations cause you frustration? How do you respond?
• What circumstances might make you impatient or angry?
• How do you handle anger? Have you ever been violent? Do you raise your voice when angry?
• Have you ever had to deal with a broken relationship? If so, please provide
  the details of that relationship, how long ago, the situation, and how did you handle it?

Personal Habits Affecting Marriage

• What are your beliefs regarding diet? Are your eating habits disciplined? Do you have any food dislikes? Are you a vegetarian?
• Do you have any physical or mental disabilities or diseases? Any allergies? Prior or current health problems?
• Do you smoke? What are your views on smoking?
• Are your spending habits disciplined? Do you tithe? What is your view of
  debt?
• How would you describe your work ethic? Do you have a high standard of
  excellence? Do you tend to be either slothful or a workaholic? How many
  hours per week do you work?
• Do you travel with your job? If so, how often? Do you see this changing in
  your future?
• If a relocation were offered to you by an employer, would you consider it?
  What would you weigh when considering such a move?
• What is your discipline in studying?
• Do you read regularly, and if so, what? Who is your favorite author? Outside
  the Bible, what would be your five favorite non-fiction books? Five favorite
  fiction books?
• What are your habits regarding sleeping? Are you lethargic? Are your sleep
  habits irregular?
• Do you follow a regular schedule? Are you organized?
• Would you consider yourself neat or messy?
• What is your practice regarding personal prayer?
• What is your level of personal cleanliness and hygiene?
• Do you have any personal habits that might annoy others?

Past Sins and Confessions:

• Are you a virgin? If not, please explain.
• Did you ask forgiveness of your partner?
• Were you/are you involved with any of the following: 1. constant thoughts
  about sex 2. Masturbation 3. Homosexuality 4. Pornography. 5. X-rated
  videos, games, internet sites?
• If you were involved in any of those activities, but are not now, why did you
  stop? If you are still involved, are you willing to seek outside counsel?
• How do you plan to keep you and your loved one from falling into sexual sin
  prior to marriage?
• Is there anything in your past that I would be surprised by if I found out?

This list was compiled from questions by: @girldefined @desiringgod @staceymcdonald

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