You’ve heard the question asked. Your brothers, your friends, and your cousins have all had this question posed to them (or will eventually). It sometimes causes a sudden shuffling of the feet and anxious stares out the window.
It’s the question which will never get exactly the same response: “What are you looking for in a wife?”
If you feel like the answers could be limitless… join the club! There are some obvious answers (especially for a Christian guy) like, “I want her to love the Lord with all her heart,” “I want her to be a Proverbs 31 woman” and on down the line.
But today I want to focus on just one area of a woman’s life (broken into two categories) that I look at in a girl’s life which can make her attractive… or not so much. (Shocking as it may seem, the two areas are not how beautiful she is outwardly, or if she uses the highest quality makeup).
It’s relationship.
I don’t mean how a girl acts with her friends on shopping sprees or at church (a factor, but not one we’re focusing on right now). I don’t mean how she interacts with guys (another huge topic I’ll save for later).
What I’m going to talk about in the area of relationship in a woman’s life breaks down into two categories:
1. How does she treat her dad?
Honor your father and mother… that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land – Eph. 6:2-3
I’m watching how a girl treats her dad (or if she doesn’t have a dad, the father figure in her life). Is she respectful? Obedient? How does she treat him in public versus in private? How does she handle disagreements with him? Does she pray for him?
I know that one day I’m going to be in her Dad’s place, and however she treats him now is a good foreshadowing of how she’ll treat me.
If she doesn’t respect her dad, will she truly respect me after we’re married?
He may be difficult to get along with or seem to be unreasonable at times, but God has placed your Dad in your life to refine you and draw you closer to Him.
Find simple ways to show love to your Dad and then act on them. You see, believe it or not, the way you treat your Dad today is practice for how you’ll treat your husband tomorrow.
2. How does she treat the children in her life?
But Jesus called them to him, saying “let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God” – Luke 18:16
I love kids.
And I love it when I see a young lady caring for, and loving on, the children around her. A woman who has a tender loving spirit for children will definitely catch guys’ attention.
Why? Simple!
She’s going to treat her children like she treats children now!
If she loves on them and loves to be with them, I’m all for that! But… if she acts like kids are just oversized pesky mosquitos… we have a problem. Not only is it no fun to be around her (if you’re wondering why I sound like I’ve had firsthand experience, it’s because I have), but warning bells go off.
Raising children is going to be a huge part of our life together – who wants a wife who acts like she’d rather die than keep holding little Johnny? Wait, let me restate that. I do NOT want a wife who isn’t going to have fun raising her family, and I don’t know any guys who do!
If you’re reading through this and starting to sweat because you haven’t been treating your Dad or children in an honoring way, don’t panic! It’s never too late to change!
Starting right at this moment, pray and purpose to act differently.
Honor and respect your Dad. Make silly faces at the little girl speedily crawling towards the door. Play with the little guys who toddle around church. It’s going to take a lot of self-sacrifice and commitment. But three things will happen to you:
- You’ll begin learning to love others like Christ loves them.
- Others will be touched by your love.
- You’ll be preparing to be an amazing wife and Mother one day! Your husband will thank you, your children will thank you, and you will be an amazing Godly example to other women.
It’s not an easy thing to consistently love your dad and the kids around you.
If you start with small steps, it will just get easier as time goes by.
- So, how can you demonstrate love to your Dad right at this second?
- What about the kids around you – are you reflecting the love Christ showed you by loving them?
- When loving others gets hard, is it them, or is it an outward demonstration of what’s going on inside your heart?
Photo credit: www.flickr.com | Kidoki
