He was cute. She was pretty. He was confident. She was as sweet as apple pie. He was strong. She was beautiful.
Jeremy and Katie are one very attractive couple. Not only are they attractive, but they are really godly too! They are both extremely involved in their church, missions, and love their families very well. They are just an all-around solid godly couple.
Rewind a few years and these two amazing individuals didn’t know the other existed.
How did they meet? Online of course.
Online dating. What used to be somewhat of a sketchy, unreliable, embarrassing tool for meeting other singles, has now become an industry standard. Online dating is now considered a good and normal way of meeting a potential boyfriend/girlfriend and future spouse.
Times have changed in the world of online dating.
I can clearly remember the days when online dating was kept hush-hush. I remember couples keeping “the way they met” super top secret. They didn’t want anyone to know!
Today, that is hardly an issue.
So what are we, as modern Christian women, supposed to do in this world of online meetings? Should we create a profile and hop online? Should we consider this as a normal and good option?
There are so many questions to be asked and answered when it comes to going online.
I’ll be the first to let you know, that I’ve never been online. Not because I think it’s bad, evil, or terrible. I don’t. I have amazing friends who’ve met and married using online dating. The reason I never went online, is because I worked through these 6 questions and concluded that online was not for me.
You can read more about my relationship journey in my new book, Love Defined.
Each one of us comes from different circumstances, has different personalities, different callings, and a unique plan from God. You have to seek the Lord diligently to know what His plan is for you.
When it comes to going online, or not going online, this is something you will have to figure out for yourself. There isn’t a specific verse on this topic (wouldn’t it be nice if there were), which means you will have to seek wisdom in this area.
I would also encourage you to dig deeper into the topics of love and romance by reading, Love Defined. This book will give you an incredibly solid foundation to build from.
Here are 6 questions to ask before creating an online dating profile?
1. Why do I want to create a profile?
Just stop and ask yourself why. Why do you want to create an online profile? The why will be different for each and every one of us. It’s so important to dig down deep and get to the starting place and root of your decision. Start with the why.
2. Have I sought wise counsel?
The Bible speaks over and over again about seeking wise counsel. Although it doesn’t mention “online dating” we can take the principles and apply them to our own circumstances. Before creating an online profile, seek wisdom from a wise and godly woman. Her input will be essential in making a good decision for you.
Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed (Proverbs 15:22).
Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand (Proverbs 19:20-21).
3. Have I prayed about it?
I know. I know. You’re probably wondering why I’m taking this so seriously. You might be thinking, “prayer! Really?” Hear me out. Going online means that you are intentionally trying to meet a man! You want to meet someone and you are taking action steps to make it happen. This could be a massive deal in your life. You could meet a guy, get into a relationship, and even get married. This is big! It’s worth praying about.
I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer (Psalm 17:6).
Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always (1 Chronicles 16:11).
4. Do I have accountability and support?
Going online is a big deal. Just like it is with any relationship. You need accountability and support. You need someone to be there for you and help you discern who would be a good option and who wouldn’t.
I’d love to assume that everyone who’s online is trustworthy, selfless, and Christ-centered. But, that isn’t reality. There are some very lost and confused people online. You don’t’ want to end up alone with someone that could harm you. Take precautions and make sure you have a wise man or woman in place to help you during the process. I would strongly encourage you to avoid going online if you don’t have accountability and support.
5. Do I know what I’d do if I met someone?
What if you meet someone that seems like a good option? What next? Will you keep communication online? Will you let him call? Will you text? Will you meet in person? Will he come to your house? How will you actually get to know his heart? So many questions need to be thought through. You don’t have to have all of the answers, but you need to have a basic game plan.
I would encourage you to really think this question through before going online. Every relationship takes works. Online relationships are no different. Carefully think through the amount of work your willing to invest into this online relationship. It will take time. It will take effort. It will take intentionality. Make sure you think this one through.
6. Can I trust the Lord with my future?
You probably know by now that Proverbs 3:5-6 is my all time favorite Bible verse. I LOVE those verses (I actually wrote an entire chapter in Love Defined using this verse as the foundation). They have been my hope and guide during my 29 years of singleness. They’ve encourraged me. Comforted me. Brought me hope. And helped me trust the Lord during the season of singleness. I would encourage you to make Proverbs 3:5-6 your mantra too. Before going online, make sure your heart is trusting in the Lord. This will ensure you aren’t acting out of worry, anxiety, or fear over the future.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Keep in mind that marriage is a good thing!
It’s something God created. He is for it. Desiring marriage is a good thing. I would encourage you to continue thinking about this idea of marriage, by reading my brand new book, Love Defined: Embracing God’s Vision for Lasting Love and Satisfying Relationships.
Love and romance can be complicated to navigate.
You need all of the wisdom and guidance you can get. Especially if you are considering going online. I would really encourage you to prepare for marriage before making that big step. Reading Love Defined would be hugely helpful in preparing you and your heart for that potential next step.
Let’s talking about online dating.
What are your general thoughts about online dating?
Why or why wouldn’t you consider it as a good option?