I didn’t have sex until I got married. Zip. Zilch. Nada. According to our modern culture, I am nothing more than an ignorant, non-liberated, trapped female, stuck in the age of patriarchy.
I didn’t express my sexual “freedom” like I should. I didn’t take advantage of the feminist’s offer to access free birth control as a teen. I didn’t follow my heart and do whatever felt right.
Instead, I rebelled.
I rebelled against our culture’s expectations for sex and the single girl, and instead, chased after something better.
Saving sex for marriage is now considered “so 1800’s.” It’s a thing of the past. It’s for lame girls who can’t get a date. It’s for strict religious girls who can’t have any fun. It’s for insecure girls who don’t know how to get “out there.”
The messages we hear and the pressures we face to throw away our virginity are relentless. A famous female celebrity recently commented in Cosmo Magazine saying, “I’m grateful Planned Parenthood was there for me as a teen to provide me with all the birth control I needed.”
That’s the new norm. That’s mainstream thinking. Sex unrestrained.
Here’s my question though: Is having unlimited premarital sex really as amazing and liberating as our culture is telling us? Is it better than saving it for marriage? Is it really producing more happiness, fulfillment, security, and peace in the lives of women?
I. Don’t. Think. So.
Just take one short peek inside the lives of modern girls and women today and you’ll find this: Struggling lives, broken hearts, lack of joy, dissatisfaction with romance, and dysfunctional relationships.
What a great trade-off.
It sounds to me like we’ve been duped.
We’ve bought into the latest and greatest “drug” without checking the long list of side effects.
Here’s the deal, girls. I rebelled against the status quo for women, and I am SO glad I did. It was worth every day of “waiting.” It was worth every day of controlling my inner passions.
If you’re on the fence about this issue, or you just a need a good reminder that God’s ways truly are better, keep reading.
Here’s what this 24 year old wedding-night-virgin has discovered about saving sex for marriage. Listen up Cosmo.
Here are 7 Major Benefits of Saving Sex for Marriage:
1. You Give Your Husband a Rare, Rare Gift
When Zack and I got married, I gave him a $400 deluxe tool kit as a wedding gift. He loved it! But that gift paled in comparison to the other gift I gave him. The gift of my virginity. That gift meant more to Zack than 100,000 new shiny tool kits.
Saving my body for my husband, alone, meant the world to my man. It sent him the message that He was worth the wait. He was worth 24 years of patience. He was worth more to me than any guy in my past.
He was worth my commitment and loyalty, even before I knew him.
Saving sex for marriage truly is the most incredible and rare wedding gift you could ever give your man. It lays a strong foundation of trust, loyalty, and commitment right from the beginning.
2. Sex Becomes About Two, Not Just You
Our modern culture tells us that sex is about one thing: YOU. It’s about you doing what you want to do, when you want to do it, in order for you to experience pleasure. However, this type of selfish, self-focused, all-about-me sex is not God’s best for us.
God created sex to thrive in a committed, marriage relationship (Genesis 2:24). Giving is always better than receiving.
Sex was designed for two, not just you.
When you save sex for marriage, you’re making the choice to serve and love your future husband in a very intimate way. You’re sending him the unspoken message that sex isn’t just about you – it’s about you AND him loving one another together.
3. You Avoid Heavy Sexual Baggage
Let me tell you – walking down the aisle without a bunch of extra baggage makes for a much lighter walk. Every Christian girl I’ve ever talked to who has engaged in premarital sex has ALWAYS regretted it. Even when they ended up marrying the guy.
They have to deal with things like shame, guilt, unwanted images in their mind, the struggle to trust men, “relearning” how to be intimate with their own husband, and in some cases, sexually transmitted diseases.
Actions have consequences, and this is the side of the coin that romance novels, chick flicks, and Cosmo never, ever show you.
Having premarital sex will come back to bite you down the road, whether you like it or not.
One of the greatest benefits of saving sex for marriage is that you will detour right past Sexual Baggage Lane. You will avoid months – and many times – years of struggle and heartache. You will enter your wedding night with a clean, unblemished slate.
And that will conclude part 1 of this blog series.
To read part 2, CLICK HERE.
For now, let’s chat.
- What kind of pressure have you faced to view sex in a casual way?
- On a scale of 1-10 (1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest), how committed are you to saving sex for marriage?
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