I was 13 years old when my dad gave me my purity ring. He took me to the jewelry store, showed me the rings, and let me pick one out. I chose a silver ring, with swirly shapes, surrounding a purple gem.
It was the perfect ring in my little girl eyes.
Later that day, my dad asked me what commitments I wanted my purity ring to represent. I shared with him a few specifics. He continued explaining to me that my ring was only an outward symbol of my inward commitment towards purity.
It was very clear that my purity ring didn’t make me pure.
The ring didn’t make me holier than other girls who didn’t wear purity rings. The ring didn’t have any “special power” to protect me from making unwise choices. The ring didn’t elevate my worth in God’s eyes.
The ring was simply a symbol of my commitments and a reminder of the direction I was praying the Lord would help me to go.
As a now twenty-nine-year-old unmarried woman (who still wears her little purple gemmed purity ring), I get quite a few emails and questions about the topic of “purity rings.”
The one question I want to answer is the one I titled this blog after.
Can I wear a purity ring if I’m not a virgin?
This question makes me want to jump through the computer and give the young woman who asks it a great big hug. I want to encourage her and remind her of the grace and forgiveness that Christ has already offered her on the cross. I want to cheer her on as she desires to move forward in purity. I want her to know that “YES!” she can absolutely wear a purity ring.
If you are that young woman asking that question, this blog post is for you.
Before you continue reading, please pause and read my recent blog, Lost Virginity Does Not Define Your Worth.
This is the heart of what I want you to embrace before we continue.
“Your worth has nothing to do with your good or bad works. Your worth has nothing to do with your reputation. Your worth has nothing to do with anything you’ve ever done or ever will do. You can’t earn your worth and you can’t lose your worth. Your worth is found totally and completely in the love God has given you through His perfect Son, Jesus Christ.”
Now that you’ve read that blog post, let’s continue with the topic of purity rings.
Sweet sister in Christ, please know that any woman desiring to embrace purity can wear a purity ring. There is no rule book about the ring. There is nothing magical about wearing the ring. The purity ring is simply you saying:
God, I desire to walk in purity. I know I haven’t lived a perfect life. I’ve sinned against you in my past. I’ve given my body to a man that wasn’t my husband. I so desire to walk in purity from this point forward. I put this ring on as a representation of my desire and hearts prayer to live a pure life.
Please strengthen me and help me to honor You in this way.
If you’ve ever asked the question “can I wear a purity ring if I’m not a virgin?” I want you to consider what a purity ring actually represents.
It’s not intended to set you apart as a special holy woman who’s better than other women. It’s not intended to represent “I’ve never had sex before.” No. Its purpose is to simply remind you of your current commitments to the Lord. I personally believe that any woman, no matter her past, can wear a purity ring. In fact, I would encourage you to wear one if you desire to embrace God’s forgiveness for your past and move forward in His grace.
Here are a few things I believe a purity ring should represent:
- A clear understanding of God’s grace and forgiveness for any sins committed.
- A heart that desires to honor God through a lifestyle that reflects purity.
- A heart of humility before God and dependence on Him for Strength.
- A symbol of your personal commitments and boundaries before the Lord.
- A regular reminder that you are only worthy because of Christ and not because of your purity ring.
Whether you decide to wear a purity ring or not, I hope you will truly know that you are loved and you are forgiven. We, as Christian women, are made holy in God’s eyes because of Jesus death and sacrifice on the cross. We don’t have to earn our worth.
We strive to become like Christ because of our gratitude for what He’s done for us.
I want to hear from you now. How would you answer this questions: Can I Wear a Purity Ring if I’m Not a Virgin?
I’d love to hear your feedback in the comments section below.