I was a sophomore in high school and had just finished playing in the semi-finals for a big basketball tournament. As my team and I were sitting in the bleachers scouting out our competition, one of the high school guys teams came and sat right behind us.
It just so happened that these guys went on to introduce themselves and quickly struck up a conversation.
As our conversation with these guys gained speed, my ears quickly tuned into their major language problem. Their English was fine, but their choice of words was filled with profanity and inappropriate comments.
Being the outgoing girl on my team, I turned around and looked at the leader of this guy pack.
I said something like this, “I really don’t think it’s appropriate to curse in front of ladies. So if you’d like to talk to us, please don’t curse.” (the teenage Bethany was doing her best to say, “stop talking that way.”)
I wish you could have seen the look on the dudes face.
I’m pretty sure I was the first girl that had ever asked him something like that. He looked totally shocked and surprised.
What happened next was incredible though.
The change in his attitude and behavior was amazing.
He went from cursing, inappropriate flirting and crude joking, to talking and acting like a true gentleman.
In that moment, I realized that all he needed was someone to act in a way that expected more of him. Instead of allowing him to sit there and curse up a storm, I challenged him to a higher standard.
I’m not saying that this will change every boy into a gentleman, but I’ve seen it work more times than just once. I’m amazed at how my personal behavior and words have directly affected the way that guys have chosen to treat me.
Give the guy a chance.
Way too often we as girls cry and complain that there are no real guys left in the world. We cover our pillows with tears and ask God to raise up respectable gentlemen.
Hold up!
Instead of despairing over the fact that there aren’t any real men, why don’t you take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are being a real woman?
I have a hunch that so many of those boys would rise up to become men if you would ask them to. I don’t mean literally go and ask them (*that could be awkward*), I mean ask them by your behavior. By the way that you dress. By the way you talk. By the way you interact.
I realize this isn’t a foolproof guarantee, but I think it’s a great place to start.
Tips to encourage the gentlemen.
Let me close out by giving you a few of my personal tips on encouraging boys to act like gentlemen.
1. When a guy offers to be a gentleman, accept it. When a guy offers you a chair, accept it. When a guy offers to carry something heavy, allow him to. When a guy is making an effort in gentlemanly behavior, allow him the opportunity.
2. When you are walking up to a door, slow down and give the guy a chance to open it. Most girls walk ahead and open it themselves. Try giving the guy the opportunity instead.
3. Try dressing in classier, more modest clothing and you will notice a difference. Strangers, friends, brothers and even my dad all tend to treat me with more respect when I’m dressed like a lady. I think it pulls out their inner nobleman.
What about you?
Do your actions call for guys to treat you with respect?
Do your clothes choices and word choices challenge guys to treat you like a lady?
How can you help guys rise to the occasion and act like true gentlemen?
