Three months ago I almost took my life. I didn’t like anything about my life. I felt the best thing to do would be to leave.
Thankfully, by God’s grace, some friends spoke biblical truth to me, and I am still here today.
My life, just like everybody else’s, is hard. I find myself wanting things to go my way and I don’t care if anyone gets hurt in the process.
I’ve lost friend after friend and have cut myself just to deal with the pain.
No matter what I did, nothing would get rid of the pain. I kept trying to find something to distract myself. I’d run till I felt like I was going to die, listen to music, cut myself, and play basketball.
The only thing that seemed to work was cutting. It left marks, but I didn’t care. No one around me seemed to noticed anyway. Somedays I wanted to walk up to someone and shout, “Look at me! Look at what I’ve done!” But I didn’t think it would change anything.
Everyone around me seemed to be in their own little world.
I felt myself sinking deeper and deeper into depression and despair.
I had learned to put a smile on my face, but I was dying on the inside. I knew God wanted to help me, but I believed the lie that He was too busy to care. My problem seemed so small compared to everything that was going in the world. God had too many other things to worry about, right??
He did care about me. I was just too blind by self-pity to realize it.
It wasn’t until a friend of my friend’s boldly shared God’s truth with me that my eyes were opened.
I told this friend that committing suicide wasn’t against the Bible. My friend lovingly corrected me and showed me that suicide is actually self-murder (Exodus 20:13). And murder is against the Bible. Suicide is choosing to take ultimate control over our lives, rather than surrendering them to God.
My friend knew the truths of God’s Word and wasn’t afraid to share it with me. My friend gave me verse after verse about how God had plans for everyone’s life, and how much He loves us.
Everything my friend shared was straight out of God’s Word and it really convicted my heart.
My mindset and heart began to change as a result of hearing God’s truth.
The Scripture passage that stood out to me the most was Psalm 46. I highly encourage you to read the entire thing:
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come, behold the works of the Lord, how he has brought desolations on the earth. He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire. ‘Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!’ The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”
The first few verses are what really opened my eyes.
Up until that point, I always thought God only helped me if I wanted it.
But this verse helped me understand that God is always there for us, every day. He wants to free us from our bondage and break the chains of sin and despair in our lives.
Believing His truth is what did this for me. God’s Word changed my sorrow into joy.
If there’s one thing I learned for this dark experience it is this: God wants to help us. We just have to ask Him. It wasn’t until I turned to God’s Word that I found strength to change my life.
As 1 Peter 5:6-7 reminds us, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
In closing, I’d love to discuss the following questions with you below:
- How has God shown His strength to you during your dark times?
- Has God ever reminded you of His truth through a friend or pastor?
- How has God’s truth transformed your thinking and helped you believe truth?
This honest and transparent guest post was written by Kaitlyn Neese. If you are interested in submitting a guest post to Girl Defined, click here.
Photo Credit: Here