You notice the guy. He catches your eye. Your heart races. You start dreaming. The week goes by and you can’t keep him out of your mind. Without even trying, he’s “won” your heart.
You’ve planned your wedding, you’ve planned your future. You even have three adorable kids.
And then…the dreaded happens. You find out that your dream dude has a girlfriend. “Noooooooo” you cry. Your future is ruined. Your dreams are shattered. All of your dreaming and scheming has come to an end and you are left with a “broken heart.”
Maybe your story isn’t so much a figment of your imagination, but an actual reality. Maybe you were in a relationship, hoping for marriage, only to have your heart broken.
I don’t know your circumstances. I don’t know your past “love” history. But, I do know this. Most of us, at some point or another, will experience some level of a broken heart.
Whether it’s the pain of a shattered dream, the pain of a lost love, or the disappointment of a hope, most of us will have to “get over a guy” at some point in our lives.
I’ve personally been in two serious relationships.
When each of those relationships ended, I had to make sure I was “getting over” the guy in a good and God honoring way. It wasn’t easy. I wasn’t perfect. But I knew what I didn’t want to do, and I knew what I should do.
Experiencing heartache, pain, rejection, or a hope deferred, is not an easy thing to handle. Unfortunately, many times we as girls handle our hurting hearts in unhealthy and damaging ways. We don’t turn our eyes upon Jesus and instead “recover” in ways that are not God honoring.
I personally believe that there are very healthy, beneficial, Biblical and God honoring ways to get over a guy. I also believe that there are unhealthy, damaging and unbiblical ways to get over a guy.
I want to spend the rest of my time talking about the title of this blog post. I want to share with you my 5 tips for getting over a guy in a God honoring way:
1. Don’t Hate Him
You’ve either been the girl, or, you’ve known the girl. She’s the one that get’s over the guy by hating him. I can’t express enough how against this I am. Nowhere (and I mean nowhere) in scripture do we ever see God giving us the “okay” to hate guys. We actually see quite the opposite, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).
Girls, hating a guy as a means of recovery is one of the most anti-biblical, immature, worldly ways to handle a broken heart. Instead, I encourage you to try out the Matthew 5:44 principle. Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
2. Don’t Rebound
Healing takes time. Don’t rush the process of recovering from a shattered dream or broken heart. Soak your heart in God’s Word and allow Him to become your all-in-all. Don’t rush into another relationship or “rebound” to help soothe your wounds. God often uses the hard times in our lives to draw us closer to Himself. I know that was totally true for me. Don’t waste those moments.
3. Get Your Heart Right
During these times of heart brokenness and painful feelings, it’s important to constantly check your reflection. Your spiritual reflection. Make sure that your feelings, thoughts and prayers all align with Scripture. Don’t hold on to bitterness, anger or anxiety. Open God’s Word and make sure you are flooding your mind with Scripture.
I also highly recommend reading Choosing Gratitude and/or Idols of the Heart. Both of those books were hugely instrumental during my heartbroken-recovery-stage.
4. Get Your Eyes On Others
This may sound harsh, but, don’t sulk in a pity party. I can’t think of anything worse than hours of sulking and feeling sorry for oneself. Get your eyes off of your sorrows and do something for someone else. It’s amazing how service can be so healing. Service and focusing on others has such an incredible way of bringing perspective.
Yes, a shattered dream is difficult (I know from experience) but, it’s not the end of the world. It’s not an excuse to turn into a constant pity party. Get out and serve others. It will do wonders.
5. Do Hard Work
After my relationship ended, I was very intentional about doing hard things. 1. It kept me busy and 2. It helped my mind focus on something else. I personally recommend doing hard things during hard seasons. Train for a marathon, start a blog, learn a new skill, read a ton of books, adopt an animal, volunteer at church, etc. Do something that pushes you outside your normal routine and challenges you.
That’s a wrap.
There you have it. My 5 tips for getting over a guy in a God honoring way. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever experienced a broken heart? If so, how did you “get over the guy?”
Share your thoughts and comments below.