• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer
GirlDefined
  • Topics
  • Courses
  • Books
  • Shop
  • Donate
  • Kristen & Bethany
    ▼
    • Speaking
    • Statement of Faith
  • Articles
  • Topics
  • Podcast
  • Videos
  • Conference
  • Courses
  • Books
    ▼
    • Not Part of the Plan
    • Girl Defined Book
    • Love Defined
    • Sex, Purity, & Longings
    • Shine Bright
  • Shop
  • Contact
DonateLogin

Halloween: When Nice Girls Turn Naughty for One Day

Halloween: When Nice Girls Turn Naughty for One Day

“Awww man, I hate this holiday.” He said rolling his eyes. “I just don’t get it…”

“Oh really?” I asked, “What are you talking about?”

This is me several years ago having a conversation with a Christian college guy I know.

“I just don’t get Halloween parties and Christian girls. Why do so many Christian girls use this holiday as an excuse to dress in seductive costumes?” He asked raising his eyebrows in question.

“I don’t know…” I said. “It is kinda weird.”

“Like, my Christian college has tons of Halloween parties and I don’t even want to go to any of them.” He continued. “It’s just too awkward for me to see my Christian girl friends dressed so…sensual.”

I walked away from that conversation with a new eye-opening perspective from a Christian college guy. He made some really good points. He asked a good question that begs for a good answer. Why do so many of us, as Christian girls, use Halloween as an excuse to undress?

Why do so many Christian girls turn naughty for one day on Halloween?

I decided to do some research on this topic and came across a secular article by the New York Times called, “Good Girls Go Bad, for a Day.” The entire article was about how everyday “good” girls suddenly turn into seductive witches, vampires, devils, and even slinky little red riding hoods, for one day. The article came to the conclusion that girls and women have to be “good” every other day of the year, so why not be bad for one night?

Interesting conclusion.

Costumes aren’t the only thing that turn bad on Halloween night though. My neighbor’s beautiful front yard has transformed into a graveyard with skulls, skeletons, witches, body parts protruding from the ground, blood and tombstones all over the place. My other neighbor has several full-size skeletons hanging from their tree by a rope tied around their necks. Appetizing, right?

If you stop to think about Halloween for one second…it’s pretty creepy and weird.

Darkness, death, and evil is unashamedly put on display during the Halloween season.

Now, I get where a lot of people are coming from. They’re not necessarily viewing Halloween as a holiday to literally celebrate death and the devil, they’re just excited to wear a fun costume and embrace the “scarier” side of life. I get that. At the end of the day, each Christian person/family has to decide how to approach this Holiday based on their own Biblical convictions. However, as Christians, we can’t completely ignore the uniquely dark and evil aspects of this holiday and how it’s celebrated in today.

For more info on the history of Halloween and how to approach it Biblically, check out these helpful articles:

Christians and Halloween

Should Christians celebrate Halloween?

With Halloween only a few days away, I wanted to write this post to encourage all of us, as Christian girls, to pause before we jump on the spooky holiday train. Our culture has no hesitations in celebrating death, darkness, and evil…but we are called to be different.

Our language, our dress, and even our celebrations should look different than the unbelieving world around us.

Now, I’m not against having a fun party this weekend (I love hosting a fall cookout party!), I’m simply encouraging you to continue being a light for Jesus, even on Halloween. God calls you and me to be reflections of the beautiful image of Christ.

Matthew 5:16 says, “Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Ephesians 5:8 “For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.”

One of the ways I love to embrace this holiday for good, is to pass out candy and fun gospel tracts to the kids who come knocking on my door. Instead of promoting darkness, there are great ways to engage in this holiday and use it as an opportunity to get the message of light and hope into the hands of your neighbors who come knocking on your door.

With so much darkness around us, people are in desperate need of hope and light.

I want to challenge and encourage you to think of creative ways to get the gospel message to your neighbors this Halloween weekend. Instead of turning “naughty” for one day, make the choice to approach this day in a way that will honor God and bless those around you. Don’t just follow the popular trends, but choose to stand for what you know is right.

Take a few minutes to thoughtfully consider what you’ll be doing, what you’ll be watching, what you’ll be celebrating and what you’ll be wearing this Halloween weekend.

  • Will your actions reflect the light and hope of God to those around you?
  • Will your clothing reflect the beauty of Christ to those around you?

If you have some creative ideas on how to turn this holiday of darkness into something a little brighter, I’d love to hear about it! Share your ideas with me in the comment section below.

Photo Credit

October 26, 2020 by Kristen Clark

Filed Under: Blog, Culture Tagged With: Culture, Fashion, Holidays, Modesty

Tips for Getting in the Word Instead of Getting on Your Phone

We all know what it’s like to sit down with our Bible in hand, ready to spend some much-needed time in the Word…when all of a sudden, we get lost on our phone for 30 minutes.

Ever been there?

The phone can be such a blessing and a cursing at the same time. The very device we use to stay “connected” with others, is the same device that distracts us from Jesus.

It’s time to put the phone down, cozy up with a warm cup of coffee, and spend time with Jesus.

October 22, 2020 by Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal

Filed Under: Videos Tagged With: Bible Reading, Social Media

10 Tips to Keep Your Heart Focused on Jesus

girl with hair

It seems like everything in the world is trying to distract us from truly focusing on Jesus.

Social media, movies, music, friends, sports, school, and work etc. While those things aren’t necessarily harmful in and of themselves, it seems many of us have found ourselves obsessed with everything but our relationship with God.

I’m just as guilty as the next girl.

I’ll admit that it’s really hard to keep my heart focused on Jesus. I find myself distracted and not living for what really matters. I don’t want this to be my story though. I’m sure you don’t either.

To help us fight the battle and intentionally work on our relationship with God, I’ve come up with ten tips. These are ten ideas that can to help us in our pursuit of having a heart that’s truly focused on Christ.

This Psalm is a beautiful portrayal of what it really looks like to be focused on Jesus.

Psalm 42:1 As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.

That’s my prayer. That each one of us will make this verse the cry of our hearts. That would be willing to do whatever it takes to make Christ our one true desire.

10 Tips to Keep Your Heart Focused on Jesus

1. Get in the Word

This is the most important tip by far. We have to get ourselves into the Word of God.

Hebrews 4:12 says that “the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

We need to take the Word of God seriously. We need to make time for it in our lives. We need to dig, study, search and making finding truth a priority in our lives.

2. Pray for Strength

You do not have to do this on your own. God is the one who will give you the strength to live for Him and be faithful until the end. You don’t’ have to follow the crowds. You don’t have to give into peer pressure. You can, by God’s grace and the power of the Holy Spirit within you, follow Him whole-heartedly.

Take time to pray and ask God to strengthen you. Ask God to give you boldness. Ask God to make you a brave woman for His glory.

3. Find a Mentor to Help You

Keeping your heart focused on Christ is not an easy thing to do. We wrestle against our own sinful hearts as well as the enemy (Satan). You need to value the state of your heart and fight for it. Don’t just casually stroll through life thinking that you will choose truth. You won’t.

The Bible specifically calls older women to teach younger women. We see in Titus 2 that this is God’s good design for younger women. We can learn what is true from the godly women who are further along in life. We need their help.

4. Confess When you Sin

We do not have to fear confessing our sins to God. He is not a big bad God in the sky waiting to pounce on us every time we fail. He loves us and promises to forgive us if we ask Him.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

When you sin (which we will all do until the day we die), take the time to confess it to God and repent. You can trust that God will forgive you when you ask Him.

5. Get Rid of the Lies

This is a tricky one. If you really want to keep your heart focused on Christ, don’t continue listening to things and doing things that are filled with lies. Things that are opposed to God’s Word. Things that keep your heart focused on self and the temporal. Get serious about getting serious and get rid of whatever is fueling lies in your life.

That may mean finding new friends, switching jobs, deleting social media accounts, blocking certain numbers, or throwing away certain music or shows etc.

If you truly want to keep your heart focused on Christ, you’ve got to get serious about it.

6. Fill your Mind with Truth

On the opposite hand, we need to replace those lies with truth. Ephesians 4:22-24 talks about the importance of putting off the bad, renewing your mind in truth, and putting on the good. There are so many amazing resources to help fill your mind with truth.

You can read biblically sound Christian books. We have three you can start with. Check those out here. You can replace your unhelpful music with modern Christian praise music. Attend a Christian Conference to help you grow in your faith.

The goal is to take practical steps to fill your mind and heart with truth. Begin fueling your passion for what God says is good and right.

7. Find a Solid Community

This is HUGE! Friendships and community have the biggest impact on each of our lives. My dad used to say, “show me your two best friends today and I’ll show you who you will be tomorrow.” That statement is so true. We are influential beings. We will become like the people we spend time with. Take your friendships seriously.

If you’re in a community or group of friends that isn’t pushing you closer to Christ, I would strongly encourage you to begin looking for a new group. You need to proactively search for a group of friends that genuinely love God and push you closer to Him.

8. Get Accountability

If you truly want to keep your heart focused on Christ, I encourage you to get accountability. That may look like one-on-one accountability (someone to keep you on track with the things you know you’re supposed o be doing), or that might look like a small group at your church. The goal is to find a godly person (or people) that can come into your life and speak the truth. They can lovingly correct you when they see you’re getting off track.

Accountability is such a valuable asset to your life. These people are the ones that can truly help you become the future person that you want to be.

9. Don’t take the Second Look

It’s time to nip temptation in the bud. Think of Eve and the fruit in the garden. What happened to her? She knew where the fruit was and she went towards it. She lingered in its presence. She took the second look and she was deceived.

Don’t take the second look. If you’re tempted with porn, don’t hold your phone in your hand, staring at the screen. Throw your phone out of your room and call a godly friend to pray for you. Don’t linger in the face of temptation.

The more you can avoid “the second look” the more you will avoid giving into temptation.

10. Acknowledge That Life is a Spiritual Battle

The bottom line is this. We need to acknowledge that we are in a spiritual battle. We can’t live life like we’re not. If we do, we will be overcome. It’s time to take our spiritual life more seriously. It’s time to value our relationship with God. It’s time to take our lives more seriously and value it like it matters for all of eternity. Because it really does.

What about you? Which of these ten tips do you most need to work on?

Leave a comment below letting me know.

PHOTO CREDIT

October 19, 2020 by Bethany Beal

Filed Under: Blog, Faith Tagged With: Bible Reading, God, Mentoring, Prayer

Getting Your “Bro Friends” to Treat You Like a Lady

Do you want to have more mature friendships with guys?

Are you sick of being one of the “bro’s”?

Do you wish you could have more substantial conversations?

Here are a few practical ways to take your guy friendships to a more mature level.

October 14, 2020 by Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal

Filed Under: Videos Tagged With: Femininity, Guys, Manhood

Fighting Lust with the Power of Gratitude

When I was a teen girl, I remember having moments where I viewed God’s boundaries for sexual purity as a bit…well — annoying. Striving for purity in my heart and mind wasn’t easy, and I struggled to keep my thoughts pure. I would find myself grumbling in my heart about how tough the single life was.

Why would God give me all of these sexual desires as a single woman?

What if I never get married? Then what?!

How am I supposed to honor God when it’s so hard?

Deep down, I knew God’s design for purity was good.

I knew sexual intimacy was reserved for marriage alone, but I struggled to view that as a blessing. I struggled to count my singleness as a gift. My mind seemed to be a magnet for romantic fantasies and I struggled to keep my thoughts pure.

As I wrestled through my questions and struggles, I started noticing an ongoing theme in my heart…and this negative theme was directly affecting my victory against sexual sin. Rather than choosing to thank God for my season of life, I was grumbling and complaining about it. I was zeroing in on what I didn’t have, rather than choosing to focus on what I did have.

Instead of cultivating a heart of gratitude, I was cultivating a heart of ingratitude.

What I didn’t realize then, but do now, is that a heart of ingratitude paves the way toward a heart of greed. And a heart that is greedy is quick to look for personal pleasure in the form of lust and sexual sin.

My heart of ingratitude was leading me down a greedy path of selfishness. My eyes weren’t focused on honoring God, and then sexual temptation came along, I was easily swayed toward sin and pleasure. 

It may seem strange to talk about gratitude in the same context as lust, but it’s not. Choosing to pursue a heart of gratitude is one of the biggest (and most under-recognized) weapons that we can use in fighting our lust.

Ephesians 5:3-4 hits the nail on the head. Check it out:

“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving” (emphasis added).

As out of place as “thanksgiving” might seem in this verse, it’s not.

It’s exactly where it needs to be. Instead of allowing sexual sin to take root in our greedy hearts, this verse is exhorting us to choose a heart of thanksgiving. Paul is essentially saying, put off your greedy lust by putting on a grateful heart!  

Why?

Because greedy lust and sincere gratitude cannot exist at the same time. We cannot pursue gratitude toward God and greed at the same time. We must choose one or the other.

I love how Heath Lambert puts it in his book, Finally Free: “Greed covers more than just a powerful desire for money. Greed has to do with covetousness, sinful desires, and evil lusts. Not only should we avoid sexually immoral behavior; we should avoid having a heart that is greedy for them.”

For me, as a single woman, I was trying to win the battle against lust but wasn’t recognizing the greediness in my own heart. As a result, I wasn’t experiencing joy in my singleness.

It wasn’t until I repented of my greedy heart and intentionally chose gratitude that I saw any consistent change in my life.

As Heath Lambert also says, “greedy lust undercuts gladness, while gratitude produces it. Gratitude fuels gladness and multiplies it. It is the logic of gratitude to be thankful for what you have instead of longing for what you don’t.”

The more I focused on gratefully serving God right where he had me, the more joy and gladness I saw in my heart. And the more I focused on thanking God for specific aspects of my singleness, the easier it became to reject lustful thoughts.

Fighting lust with gratitude is a powerful and biblical weapon.

If you’ve been struggling to stay pure, I want to challenge you to do what I did. Search your heart for any patterns of ingratitude and greed and repent of those. Instead, ask God to change your heart to become one filled with gratitude for Him.

As you intentionally strive to cultivate a grateful heart, you will see God do a beautiful work in your heart and mind! 

I’d love for you to comment below by answering these two questions:

  1. How are you struggling to be grateful to God in your life right now?
  2. Instead of giving into a heart of lust, what are three specific things you can thank God for right now?

Photo Credit

October 12, 2020 by Kristen Clark

Filed Under: Blog, Sin Tagged With: Gratitude, Lust

When Your Friends Start Dating and You Feel Left Behind

youtube girls

Have you ever experienced the leftover syndrome?

You know, when your best friend gets a boyfriend and suddenly you feel like last week’s leftover tuna sandwich? You and your bestie went from doing everything together and now she hardly even responds to your texts.

That’s a bummer place to be.

This video will offer you just the encouragement you need to find joy in the midst of your sad feelings.

October 7, 2020 by Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal

Filed Under: Videos Tagged With: Dating, Desires, Singleness

« Previous Page
Next Page »

NEW BOOK!

Our newest book, "Made to Be She: Reclaiming God’s Plan for Fearless Femininity" is available now!

Learn More

Before Footer

Footer

Learn More

  • About
  • Speaking
  • Contact
  • Donate
  • Donor’s Login
  • Courses
  • Books
  • Conference
  • Shop
  • Podcast
31 days of proverbs
JOIN THE SISTERHOOD

GET OUR FREE PROVERBS DEVOTIONAL BY SIGNING UP TODAY. PLUS, STAY IN THE LOOP AND RECEIVE WEEKLY ENCOURAGEMENT FROM KRISTEN AND BETHANY.

© 2025 Girl Defined 2021 . All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy. Website built by Five Q.