As we look around, we don’t see very many lasting and vibrant marriages. Sadly, many marriages aren’t even making it past the 5-year mark.

Even in the midst of such relational devastation, the two of us believe that lasting love is possible. In fact, we interviewed four different women who’ve been married for 30, 40, and  50 plus years.

We asked them to share some of their advice with the rest of us.

Here is a snippet of what they shared in our new book, Love Defined. You can read everything they had to say in chapter 17 of, Love Defined. 

Advice from the married women:

Yvonne Welch (married since 1966)

Many times a young bride will look to her new husband to satisfy all the deepest desires of her heart. She will expect him to do what only God can do—give her total joy and fulfillment. When you, as a single woman, learn to take all your cares, fears, and concerns to the Lord Jesus Christ on a daily basis, your heart will be strengthened. You will be preparing yourself to be a godly helpmate to your future husband.

Kimberly Wagner (married since 1981)

Demonstrating appreciation (appropriately) to the men in your life now, as a single woman, will develop a heart that serves to help others be all God created them to be. We are designed as an essential strengthening counterpart (see Gen. 2:18). Whether you’re single or married, you’re designed to come alongside others and strengthen your husband’s efforts by being a type of “life-giver.” Appreciation does that; it breathes life into those we serve.

Heidi Baird (married since 1982)

I encourage you to do what a wise mentor and Titus 2 woman encouraged me to do many years ago. Grab your Bible, a notebook, and a pen, and settle into a quiet spot (closets are my go-to choice) to begin writing out as many character qualities of God that come to your mind. Then meditate on one of those a day. Look up verses that teach you more. Spend time thanking God for who He is. I encourage you to do this for the next few weeks each morning. Like I did, I bet you’ll see a transformation in your quiet time and love for the Lord.

Barbara Rainey (married since 1972)

Most importantly, may I encourage you to learn the number one homemaking skill? That homemaking is the art of making a house a home. That skill is surrendering your heart to Jesus every single day. A friend of mine demonstrated this by living a life surrendered to Jesus. It was His presence in her that greeted us every time we went to her house. Cooking and decorating classes abound. You can take one or more anytime, anywhere. But creating a warm home that even little children recognize is possible only when your heart is completely His.

• Do you want to experience lasting love?
• Do you want a vibrant marriage 10, 20, and even 30 years later?
• Do you want a relationship built on trust?

Our new book, Love Defined, will show you how to build your love life on the right foundation NOW.