With technology continually on the rise and dating sites becoming much more of the norm, I think we should do ourselves a favor and dig into the topic of online dating.
I have to be honest with you though, I’ve been avoiding the “online dating” topic like the plague.
Why? Because I have several really close friends, that I greatly admire, who stand on the opposite side of the spectrum. Some friends love online dating to pieces and some can’t hate it enough.
There are also great Christian ministries (that I highly respect) who hold very different views. On one hand there’s Leslie Ludy who is totally against it and on the other hand we have Boundless who is very much in favor of it.
With all of these different perspectives, what’s a girl to do?
As a 27 seven year old christian single girl I’ve done my fair share of reading, praying, and thinking through the whole “romantic relationship” topic.
I’ve had multiple conversations and have read many blogs and articles about online dating. I’ve decided to boil all of that information down into this one teeny tiny blog post. There is so much to be said on the topic and I realize I can’t address every aspect of the conversation today.
The goal of this blog post is to help you think through the pros and cons of online dating and evaluate if this is something you should personally use, either now, or in the future.
My Personal Online Dating Status.
Let me start by sharing my personal “online dating status” with you. I’ve never used online dating in my past, and personally have no current plans of using it in the future. I’ve talked through, thought through, and prayed through this topic and I don’t believe it’s the path for me.
I feel extremely confident that God has me exactly where He wants me right now.
I believe that online dating would only be a distraction to my current purpose in life. Although I am very open to starting a relationship, I have to trust that God can provide a man for me if He desires.
My life verse (Proverbs 3:5-6) has really become my personal mantra on this issue. It says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”
At this point, I’m just trusting that God will guide me (through His Word and the wise people around me) in the direction He wants me to go. Right now, it’s not online dating. In the future, it might be. I don’t know.
You have to weigh the pros and cons.
If you’ve ever thought about using online dating, I highly encourage you to think, pray, and weigh the pros and cons before ever getting online. Don’t get online blindly or in a hurry because your friends encourage you to do it. Don’t get online out of fear or a lack of trust in God.
Going “online” is a very serious decision and should be taken with a lot of outside wisdom, prayer, and much counsel.
That being said, let’s jump into the possible pros and cons of online dating.
Possible Pros of Online Dating:
1. It can help differentiate the intentional from the non-intentional. I’ve heard it said that online dating really helps narrow down the singles who are serious about marriage from the ones who aren’t.
2. It expands your pool of fish. By going online you will have many more potential options. No longer are you limited to the tiny pool of people you personally know, but you now have access to people all over the country.
3. Personality, religion, and preference matches. Online dating sites are well known for matching guys and girls up according to personality, religion, and preferences, etc. Many believe that this helps narrow down the options and gives you a better chance of relationship success.
4. You can make your marriage interest known. Online dating is often for the purpose of finding your lifelong match. Guys online will most likely appreciate a girl who’s intentional about marriage and who’s interested in a guy doing the same.
Possible Cons of Online Dating:
1. Dangers of the unknown. Let’s just be real. You’re a girl going online and getting to know total strangers. That can be a little scary. Without serious wisdom involved you could end up chatting with a total weirdo or creeper.
2. Time consumer. I’ve heard several people (who’ve used online dating) say that online dating requires a lot of time. It takes time to create a profile, time to keep up with emails and time to get to know the different potentials.
3. Financial investment. Online dating sites aren’t free. They require memberships and membership fees.
4. Security of your private information. Going online requires you to fork over a bunch of personal information (that’s how they make the matches). I’ve read in several places that many online dating sites aren’t totally secure, making it somewhat easy for hackers to get into your account and access your info. That’s concerning.
5. Best foot forward. Online dating gives the users the chance to put their best foot forward and keep the ugly in the background. It can be difficult to know the true beliefs, convictions, and character of the guys you meet.
6. Possible lack of trust in God. Online dating has the potential to be used because of a lack of trust in God. A lack of trust that God is the Creator and hold the hearts of Kings in His hands. A lack of trust that God is capable of providing and a fear that if you don’t go online you’ll never get married.
7. Rushing through the single years. God is working in your life and giving you opportunities to grow and become more like Jesus. Singleness isn’t a bad thing. God has tons of work (the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few) and singles are a great set of people to focus on that Kingdom work. Think through the possible work God might have for you before getting online.
Okay, the pros and cons list is over.
I feel like there is so much more I want to say but I need to wrap it up. Let me leave you with these final thoughts.
All in all your life as a Christian girl is about reflecting Christ and pointing others to Him. If you are fully striving to trust in Him, rely on Him, and rest in Him, then I think the answer to your online dating question will become quite clear.
Just remember that God is bigger, mightier, and more amazing than you could ever imagine. Don’t underestimate His sovereign control over your love life. Seek to trust in Him with ALL of your heart and He truly will make your “relationship path” clear.
What are you thoughts?
Are you for online dating or against it? What pros do you see and what cons do you see? Share below.