I was 19 years old when love and romance came knocking on my door.
He was funny, I laughed.
He was cute, I was smitten.
He liked me, I liked him.
He pursued me, I fell in love.
And then…it ended. As quickly as it started.
My tears covered my pillow for weeks on end. It took me a good six months to get to the point of feeling recovered. Even though I was totally heartbroken, God gave me the grace to come to grips with the situation.
Looking back I still can’t believe I was only 19 years old when I started my first serious relationship. I knew nothing about marriage, men, or what to look for in a spouse.
I just figured if a nice Christian guy was interested, I should be interested back. I didn’t understand that a guy needed to have more depth other than simply being gentlemanly, nice, and church going.
What I know now that I didn’t know then…
The years that followed my first relationship were major eye openers in my life. I learned several incredible truths that transformed my thinking in what I should be looking for in a future husband. I finally realized that I’m not looking to marry just a nice guy. I’m looking to marry a guy who has 3 specific qualities. They are:
When I was younger I felt confused about guys. I felt unsure of what specifically to look for in a future husband and I wondered how to separate a “nice” guy from a “potential husband” guy.
If you’ve ever felt confused or unsure about what to look for in a future husband, this blog post is for you. I’m going to take you through each of the qualities and explain why I personally believe they should be foundational qualities in any guy you would consider as a potential.
3 Must Have Qualities in a Future Husband:
The Bible says that we as women are called to be a helper to our husband. The Bible also says that the head of every man is Christ and the head of every married woman is her husband. The man is the spiritual leader for his family.
Think with me for a minute.
How in the world is a man going to lead you *and do it well* if he doesn’t have a spiritual vision for his family. A guy considering marriage doesn’t need to have all of his ducks in a row, but he does need to have a spiritual vision of where he is going and where he wants to lead his wife. If his vision simply contains bringing home the bacon and then chillin’ out to Netflix, that’s not going to cut it. That’s a bad vision.
If you are considering a guy as a potential spouse, you need to have a clear understanding of his spiritual vision. You need to know the answers to questions like, “How does he plan to lead his wife spiritually?” “How does he plan to lead his children spiritually?” “How does being a Christian impact his everyday decisions?” “How does he want to live out the gospel in his life?” “What kind of legacy does he want to leave behind?”
I personally believe that a guy who truly understands the gospel, and truly understands what Christ did for him, will be passionate about His relationship with Christ. If a guy isn’t passionate about the gospel, I would want to know why not. Why isn’t he passionate about the very thing that saved him from hell and set him on a path to spending eternity in heaven with his Savior Jesus Christ?
In my opinion that is a huge indicator of what will set a potential husband apart from just a nice guy. A potential husband should be passionate about his relationship with Christ and he should be passionate about making Christ known each and every day.
Where is he is going? What is he doing? What’s his plan? Those are extremely important things to know before committing your life to a guy. I’m not talking about him having his 50 year life plan in order with his burial site already purchased and ready to go…I’m talking about direction. Does he know where he is going? Does he have some sort of plan in place? Does he take legitimate action towards his goals?
I personally wouldn’t even consider a guy as a potential husband if he didn’t have some sort of purpose guiding him in his life. For me, this is key, and I think it should be for you as well.
That’s a Wrap
I hope that those three points have inspired you and challenged you as you pray about a future husband. Look for a guy with vision, passion, and purpose. Don’t settle for a guy that’s just nice. Dig deeper and figure out where the guy is going and where he, as your head and leader, will be taking you.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Which of those three points is most important to you? Leave your comments below.