The other day I was hanging out with a group of solid Christian friends. We were chatting about life, catching up, and just having a great time.
During our time out together, we had some great conversations about dating, romance, courtship and singleness. We went around in a circle and shared our thoughts on those topics. We answered questions like…Would we date? Court? How are we currently preparing for marriage? Etc.
One of the single guys shared something that I found really encouraging and inspiring.
I thought I would share it with you gals to encourage you and challenge you as well. In a condensed version, here’s what he said:
He is trying to be super intentional about preparing for marriage in his single years. He is trying to be honest about his weaknesses so that he can work on them in order to be a greater blessing to his future wife and family.
He specifically mentioned a few areas that he is working on and I thought it would be encouraging for you girls to hear. The areas he mentioned weren’t earth shattering, but they were extremely practical and really thoughtful!
The first thing he mentioned was directions.
He said that he is really bad at directions and wants to improve so that he can lead his family well. He doesn’t want his wife to have to worry every time they get in the car to go somewhere. He wants her to be able to easily count on him in that area. Instead of waiting until he’s married, he is working hard to improve on that now.
The second area he mentioned was dancing.
He recently started taking swing dance lessons so that he will be able to dance with his wife in the future. He knows that most girls enjoy dancing and he wants to be prepared to bless his wife in that way. He figures, why wait until he gets there to be prepared. Might as well get a head start while he has the time.
I’m sure there are other things he’s working on as well, but those were the two he mentioned to the group.
The main thing that stood out to me about what he shared, was the fact that he is striving to bless and serve his future wife even before he knows her.
He is intentionally preparing now for what the future might hold.
He’s trying to live out Proverbs 31:12, which says, “She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” Only he’s doing it guy style.
A lot of us, as girls, think about our futures.
We think about love, romance and marriage. We hope and pray that God has a husband in the plan for our lives. We live expectantly waiting for the day when we will finally meet and marry our true love.
Unfortunately, not many of us are very intentional about preparing for that season. Not many of us are working hard to practically prepare for that time. Not many of us are honest about our weaknesses, much less working hard to improve them.
I want to challenge you to do what that single guy did.
I want to challenge you to get honest about your shortcomings. Get honest about your character struggles. Get honest about the areas that you need to grow in. Get serious about using your single years to grow in ways that will be a blessing to your future husband. Whether it’s practical (like directions) or spiritual (like growing in patience) acknowledge the areas you need to grow in and take serious steps towards getting there.
As we’ve mentioned several times throughout our blog, marriage won’t turn you into princesses perfect. Marriage isn’t like a magic formula that takes all of your sin and shortcomings away. Marriage isn’t a fix-all program.
Marriage takes work. Relationships take work. And it starts right now with you.
Today is the day to get a move on and get serious about growing. I’m encouraging you to grab a piece of paper and write down 4 things you’d like to start working on. I want you to pick 2 spiritual and 2 practical. Something like this:
1. I’d like to improve on my cooking skills… So that I can bless my family now and in the future.
2. I want to learn how to budget and manage money… So that I can help make wise financial decisions in the future.
3. I want to practice having a grateful attitude… So that I can encourage the people around me to have grateful attitudes as well.
4. I want to come up with a better system for my prayer time… So that I can have a close and thriving relationship with God.
Those are a just a few ideas on what your list may look like. Everyone’s lists will look different because each of us has different strengths and weaknesses. Figure out which areas you need to grow in and take serious steps towards getting there.
If you’re not exactly sure where you need to grow, I encourage you to grab a copy of my new book, Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity. This book will take you step-by-step through what it means to be a godly woman and will help you figure out which areas you most need to grow in. I highly encourage you to grab a copy here.
I’d love to hear from you now.
How do you plan to grow both practically and spiritually? What areas do you feel like you need to improve in?