I get along so much easier with guys. They’re easier to talk with, easier to laugh with, and they don’t get caught up in the drama. Is it wrong that I prefer having close guy friends over close girlfriends? -Anonymous Girl
Why is it that guy friendships seem to come so effortlessly and girl friendships seem to take a lot of work and effort? Why is it that guy friendships seem to be drama free, and girl friendships can often be drama filled? Is it really (like really really) important to invest into girl friendships, or can guy friendships do?
If you’re anything like me (when I was single), I’m sure you’ve had some of those thoughts run through your mind.
Deep in your heart, you know that having girl friendships are important, but you don’t like the idea of working hard to invest and make them happen. Girls can tend to be complicated. Guys tend to be more chill and easier to get along with.
I know. I totally get it.
Despite how I’ve felt about this issue of guy vs. girl friendships in my earlier days of being single, I want to share with you what I’ve discovered over the past few years.
I genuinely believe (from personal experience) that girl-to-girl friendships are a crucial aspect of our lives as single women.
My life has been so greatly impacted by my solid Christian girlfriends.
I’m convinced no guy could replace that impact.
Girls can share deeply. Love strongly. Cry together. Pray through the real stuff. Hug each other. Share in joys and sorrows together. Ask the tough questions. Be there during the tough moments. Celebrate good times. Laugh at the awkward moments.
We get to keep each other accountable. Challenge one another. And (the best part lol) we get to talk about our love lives, chat about guys, and reveal some of our deepest desires and longings.
Those are just a few of the unique things that come about in solid girl-to-girl friend relationships.
If you’ve ever thought “girl friendships are just too hard. I’m sticking with the guys,” I want you to consider these pros and cons of guy/girl & girl/girl friendships. This isn’t an exhaustive list, just stuff I’ve learned along the way.
3 Difficult Issues That Come With Having Only Close Guy Friendships
1. Unwise Emotional Attachment Takes Place
Often times either one or the other gets emotionally attached and involved. One of the persons just wants to “be friends” and the other is left sad and brokenhearted. This is probably the most common issue with deep/personal guy/girl friendships. If two people who are “just friends” develop a deep and emotionally driven friendship, one of them is bound to come out with a bit of a broken heart.
2. The temptation to Share the Deep and Intimate Aspects of Life
How can we, as girls, resist sharing our deepest most intimate thoughts and truest longings with a guy (that’s not our husband or boyfriend) in a beneficial way? That’s really hard to do. I’ve been there and it’s not an easy place to be. When a guy friend has a listening ear, and we’ve got a lot going on, it can be really tempting to pour out our guts to the closest guy friend available. If guy friends are all we’ve got, the temptation to open up and go deeply intimate will be very present.
3. Trouble Because it Can’t Be Maintained Long Term
Think about. Once you are married it wouldn’t be super appropriate or beneficial to maintain deep friendships with guys who aren’t your husband. It’s just not wise or healthy. That means that all of your current deep guy friendships are all short term (unless you marry the dude). If you’re investing most of your time into guy friendships, what will you have once you get married? Who will stand up next to you at your wedding? Who will be there for you to laugh, cry, love, and challenge you during your future relationship? Guy friendships just can’t really be maintained like that long term.
3 Awesome benefits that Come With Close Girl Friendships
1. Total Openness and Honesty
When you’re sitting across the table, drinking hot coffee, looking into the loving eyes of a sweet girlfriend, total openness and honesty can be had. You can share. She can share. And true friendship can be enjoyed. These are the types of friendships we all need (and often desire) in our lives. These are the friendships that will celebrate with you during the good and mourn with us during the bad. These friendships can be enjoyed throughout the future. There doesn’t need to be an end to this sort of friendship.
2. Great Quality Time Spent Together
You can head over to your girl friend’s place late at night, early in the morning, or even have a sleepover. The options are much more vast. You can spend serious quality time together without worrying if it’s “too much.” You can just share, enjoy, and grow from the awesome friendship being developed. In fact, quality time is one of the best ways to grow a deep and meaningful relationship. Between girls, it would be encouraged. Between a guy/girl, it’s a whole lot more complicated.
3. Christ-Centered Love Flows Freely and It lasts
Learning how to give Christ-centered love is a constant need. It’s not easy to always give that to those we spend the most time with. Having a deep and meaningful relationship with a solid girl gives you the opportunity to truly practice loving her as Christ loves you. Not to mention this friendship has the ability to last long into the future. It doesn’t have to stop when one of you gets married. It can last for literally decades to come.
It can be hard, but it’s worth it.
My hope and prayer are that you too will choose to invest in girl friendships. Even though it’s hard. Even though it’s inconvenient. Girl-to-girl friendships are just truly irreplaceable. I get that they don’t always come easy, but who said good things always come easy? Some of the best things take the most time and work.
Don’t give up on girl friendships just because they’re hard.
I challenge you to make up your own list. What are some of the long-term pros and cons of having mostly deep guy friendships? What are the pros and cons of having deep girl friendships?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Share with me in the comments below.