Someone wrote an email to me recently and said, “The fact is, giving an abstinence-only sex education is not going to make things any safer. I believe there’s no harm in educating teenagers about safe sex.”
This type of thinking is really popular today. There’s a huge push in our culture to indoctrinate teens with a “safer sex” education program. If you attend public school or watch any TV, you’ve probably been exposed to it. It goes something like this: “Teens are going to do it anyway, so we might as well teach them how to do it responsibly.”
The mindset of our culture is that teens are so irresponsible, immature, and wild, we can’t possibly teach them to save sex for marriage. So, we’ll just teach them how to avoid the consequences of premarital sex (i.e. pregnancy, STD’s, emotional damage, etc.).
Sadly, this type of thinking reflects our society’s loss of the sacredness and beauty of sexual intimacy.
We no longer value sex as God values it. We no longer cherish the sacred intimacy of the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4). We no longer esteem purity and faithfulness.
In a culture where sex is constantly being devalued, we as Christian women must look to God’s Word for our guidance. God created sexual intimacy for marriage alone (Genesis 2:24, 1 Corinthians 7:2-5). We must accept God’s truth as His best for our lives. We must trust that God’s plan and boundaries for sex are for our own good.
Premarital “safe sex” isn’t God’s best for us. In fact, it pales in comparison to the beauty of God-defined sexual intimacy within a committed marriage. If you’re still doubtful, here are 3 reasons why safe sex isn’t all that great.
1. Safe Sex Isn’t Actually all that “Safe.”
In doing research for this post, I came across article after article explaining what “safe sex” education is and how to put it into practice. However, at the end of each article, there was always a small disclaimer. Kind of a, “do at your own risk” sort of disclaimer.
One popular website stated, “Just as seat belts cannot guarantee you will not be injured in a car accident, practicing safer sex is also not a 100% guarantee. Some STDs, such as the human papillomavirus (HPV) and herpes, can be spread through skin-to-skin contact.”
The truth is, safe sex isn’t actually all that safe. There are millions of people in America who bought into this lie and now find themselves suffering from terrible sexually transmitted diseases. Check out these shocking statistics:
“In the united states alone, there are 20 million new STD infections each year.”
“There are 110 million STD’s among men and women in the US today.” “50% of new infections are in people ages 15-24.”
Over at LiveScience.com they stated that “Sexually transmitted diseases are one major group of diseases that make for ongoing hidden epidemics [in Amercia].”
Safe? I don’t think so! Those statistics are frightening. And that doesn’t include the large number of unplanned pregnancies that occur each year.
2. Safe Sex Ignores God’s Design.
Every time we, as humans, try to bypass God’s design, we reap the consequences. Sin has consequences. God is our creator and He designed sex. It’s a wonderful and glorious thing in the right context. Outside of God’s context, there are serious repercussions.
Safe sex education completely ignores God’s design for sex.
God never intended for sex to be shared between a boyfriend and girlfriend, a partner, or as a casual encounter. Sex was designed for monogamous marriages, where one husband and one wife become “one flesh” as a seal on their lifelong covenant (Proverbs 5:15-19, Hebrews 13:4).
By God’s grace, my husband Zack and I followed God’s plan for sex by saving it for marriage.
While we were dating, we never had to worry about contracting STD’s, becoming single parents, taking birth control, suffering emotional damage, and more. It was extremely freeing!
And now, 6 years into our marriage, we’re still reaping the benefits of following God’s design. Pursuing purity before marriage has been a strong anchor that draws us even closer today. God’s plan for sex isn’t stifling. It’s truly liberating. It produces the best possible long-term results for vibrant relationships.
3. Safe Sex Prefers Feelings Rather than Truth.
We live in a culture where the new religion is our “feelings.” We’re told through secular songs, magazines, movies, and blogs that our feelings reign supreme. If it feels right for you, do it. If it makes you happy, go for it! Follow your heart wherever it leads you.
This is the attitude that underlines safe sex education. If you feel like having sex with your boyfriend, go for it! But just be safe. As females, this message is undoubtedly damaging to us since we tend to be driven by our emotions more than guys. How often have our feelings deceived us? How often have we acted on our emotions, only to regret it an hour later?
When it comes to something as intimate as sex, we should never allow our feelings to drive the train.
Instead, we need to be vigilant to speak truth to our hearts and redirect our emotions toward what’s true and right.
While I was engaged to Zack, I had strong feelings and desires for sex. Who doesn’t?! This is natural. This is how God designed it. However, I didn’t allow my strong feelings to be my compass. Obeying God and trusting in His plan was my driving force. And that meant waiting. That meant going against my “feelings.” And I’m so glad I did.
You can do the same. Choose to base your life on God’s truth, and your feelings will eventually catch up. Choose to honor God’s plan for sex no matter what your feelings tell you.
Regardless of how popular premarital sex is today, it will never produce the type of committed, intimately satisfying, trusted, long-term love that we long for.
It can’t because it’s the opposite of how created us to function best.
To learn about God’s amazing design for true love and romance, I hope you’ll join us for our live online event on March 24, 2018, called “Guys and Romance: Navigating Your Love Life in a God-Honoring Way.”
I would love to hear your thoughts and comments on this topic below!
- What problems have you seen arise from single people embracing a “safe sex” mentality?
- Why do you think God designed sex for marriage only?