She was beautiful. He was handsome. She desired male attention. He wanted some fun. She longed for romance. He wanted adventure. She wanted passion. He wanted pleasure. They meet…go on a date…and it doesn’t take long before their relationship turns intensely sexual.
As you read their story, your inner passion and excitement ignite in an explosion of sexual longings deep within your heart. You want what they have. You want a steamy romance. You want a sexual adventure.
This is the storyline of thousands of novels that have gained the ever-growing popular title of “erotica.” These novels come in all shades and colors and all have one common intent: To stimulate and arouse sexual desire within you.
Erotic and sexually charged novels appeal to us as women because we long for an exciting romantic relationship.
As one author puts it, “erotica promises to take you out of your boring world and inject some adventure – even if it’s only in your mind. For a brief time, you can feel alive imagining what it would be like to fall madly in love with a gorgeous man, to be so beautiful that heads always turn your way, or to ride on a private jet to an ocean getaway.”
As steamy and enticing as sexually charged novels may be, we need to open our eyes and look through their sexy facade. Yes, they’re steamy alright…but they’re nothing more than that — steam. They excite for a moment, then leave you empty and longing for more. They leave you dissatisfied with your real life and longing for a wild, sexual adventure.
They push you away from God’s good design for sex and intimacy within marriage and into sinful pleasure.
As we say in our new book, Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart:
“We (Kristen and Bethany) have done a lot of thinking and researching on this topic. We are women just like you. Erotic stories appeal to our lustful nature as much as the next woman. However, instead of jumping on board with the erotica tidal wave, we decided to ask some questions. Is erotica really as harmless as everyone says? Are there any negative side effects to this sensual stuff? Does this literature push us toward holiness and purity, or away from it? Does this arousing content encourage us toward a satisfying and truly intimate relationship?”
I want to share with you a snippet of what we discovered as we share in Chapter 11 of our book. To get the full version, I hope you’ll grab a copy and read this extremely helpful chapter (we also cover porn and masturbation).
Sexually Charged Novels and the Single Christian Woman:
“God is calling us to fight for sexual purity out of honor for His good design for covenant love. We’re not just abstaining from something bad—We’re fighting for something good. As pleasurable as erotica could feel in the moment, it does not aid in the fight for purity. It would tempt you, as an unmarried woman, to dream about sex in ungodly ways. Since the goal of erotica is literally to ‘arouse sexual desire’ it becomes very clear that this would not help in the pursuit of Christ-honoring purity.
In the book of Song of Solomon (an amazing story about pure and holy sex within marriage), there’s a specific call to the single women of Jerusalem to “not to awaken love until the time is right” (v. 8:4, NLT). Other translations use the words arouse and stir up. These single women were told to not awake/arouse/stir up sexual love until the time was right (marriage). This is still the call for us today. We are called to protect, cherish, and fight for authentic love by reserving our sexual arousal for marriage only.”
Sexually Charged Novels and the Married Christian Woman:
“As married women, you and I both know that true marital intimacy takes hard work and intentionality. And as a result, I believe the Enemy is working overtime to keep us from being intentional in this area. He is doing whatever He can to draw us away from true intimacy with our husband. His goal is to put a wedge between us. To create a heart of discontentment and boredom within our own marriage.
Erotica doesn’t draw us into authentic intimacy with our husband, but rather draws us away from it. It arouses false sexual desires and expectations within us that ultimately crave for something other than the marriage we have. Erotica takes us into the bedroom of total strangers and invites us to indulge in their sexual passion. It takes us into a fantasy world where lust, immorality, and sexual autonomy reign supreme.”
Whether you’re single or married, God wants us to steer away from cheap sexual thrills, and instead fight for a holy, pure, and authentic sexual relationship within marriage.
He is calling us to fight for true intimacy as He designed it by “not arousing love until the time is right.” He is for us and for passion and ecstasy. He is for love and romance. Sexually charged novels will never truly satisfy us because they miss the mark of Christ-centered love and intimacy.
Don’t settle for a counterfeit version that will only leave you empty and longing for more. Trust God and take Him at His Word. To learn more about God’s beautiful plan for sex and purity, I hope you’ll grab a copy of Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart today.
I’d love to hear from you below!
- How have you looked for excitement in sexually charged novels only to find yourself empty?
- Why do you think erotica appeals to women even though it doesn’t offer lasting satisfaction?