Anna is your typical college age, happy-go-lucky, Christian girl. She’s on fire for God and is very outspoken on her college campus. The guys on campus know she isn’t interested in “messing around” and her professors are all aware of her strong faith in God.
Anna takes her life as a Christian seriously and truly desires to live out biblical womanhood.
She’s read the books, studied the Bible and has attended numerous conferences that champion God’s awesome design for women.
She’s gung-ho-on-board with passages like Titus 2, Proverbs 31 and Ephesians 5. She’s even studied the topics of feminism, biblical submission in marriage and God-defined gender roles.
This girl has her ducks-in-a-row and is ready for the future. At least she thinks she’s ready.
Anna has the heart, guts and gumption of an amazing Christian girl, but has failed to prepare for one very important part of her life – her future as a possible wife and mom.
Anna is unknowingly making the tragic mistake that many Christian girls are making each and every day. She’s planning for a future that will take superhero powers to make happen.
Anna is failing to recognize that her future “self” will only have 24 hours in a day. No more and no less.
You see, Anna desires to one day be married.
She also desires to live out God’s biblical design for the wife, as her husband’s helper. Anna hopes that the Lord will give her children (when the time comes) and she is planning on being a fully invested mom who trains up her children and gives them the love and affection they need.
Although Anna hopes for those things, she is also working very hard towards building her career. She is up to her ears in college debt, and is slaving away trying to finish her senior year.
She can’t wait to finish school so that she can finally pursue her dream job.
Fast forward to Anna’s life 15 years down the road. She’s graduated from college, working full-time, married her college sweetheart, has 2 kids and is currently stressed out of her mind.
In her own words, “there just isn’t enough time.” 24 hours isn’t cutting it.
Anna wants to be a good wife and mom, but her job demands the best 9-10 hours of her day. Her house is always a little out of control, dinners are typically last minute, child training is barely getting by, and her marriage with her husband is good but not great.
At this point in her life she doesn’t know what else to do.
She can’t add any more time to the clock and she doesn’t feel like she can drop any of her current responsibilities.
Anna is living the typical life of many modern Christian women today.
Stressed, getting by, working hard at a corporate job, always wishing she could have more time to invest into being a wife and mom, and praying that time would magically multiply.
The story of Anna is the reality for so many Christian women today.
You see, we live in a day and age where strapping on college debt, getting a job, pursuing a career, and climbing the corporate ladder is the expected path for ALL women. Planning smart (avoiding debt, etc.) for the possibility of marriage and family isn’t often taken into consideration.
Instead of planning smart and preparing for the possibility of family (being a wife and mom), we pile on the debt and invest mountains of our time and energy into building a career.
When the future does come, we (like most women today) have no other choice but to spend the best hours of our days away from our home and children.
We simply have no other option.
So what are we to do? How are we, as women, to work hard now, in our single years, without enslaving our future selves to a lifestyle we may regret? How are we to plan for a future that we can thrive in?
I have three suggestions:
1. Ask Real Questions.
How will I balance my future life? How will I juggle my “professional” job with my “family” job? How will I fulfill my God-given roles of being a wife and mother? How will I avoid getting “stuck” in a position I may not want to be in? What can I learn from the women 20 years ahead of me? How can I live out Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 right now and in the future?
Please don’t blindly follow the crowd and end up somewhere your future self doesn’t want to be. Ask the hard questions now and plan smart for your future.
2. Create a Solid Plan.
Think smart and think outside the box. Create a solid plan that will help you avoid mountains of debt. Don’t enslave yourself to debt just because it’s the normal and expected path.
Look into online classes, or look into clepping through college courses using College Plus. Read this incredible article by Dave Ramsey. Do what most young women are not doing and create a solid plan. Create a 5 year plan, 10 year plan, and 15 year plan. Consider the possibility of marriage and children and make sure your plan is working towards that reality.
And for those of you thinking, “what if I never get married?” These questions and thoughts are just as important to think through. You never know where God might direct you in the future. It’s very wise to think ahead and plan smart now. Avoiding debt will be a huge blessing to your future self.
3. Avoid Living in the Moment.
Don’t assume that your current passions will be your future passions. Your passions as a single girl will look very differently from your passions as married woman or a mom. Don’t plan your future based strictly on how you feel right now.
Basically, don’t lock yourself into a lifestyle that you may want to leave behind if the husband and children arrive on the scene.
Think ahead and plan with the future in mind.
And just so you know, I am all about women working hard! Check out this post for more.
I hope this blog has sparked some thought. I hope this post encourages you to think ahead and plan for a future that is working towards the high calling of marriage and motherhood.
If you’re interested in digging deeper into this topic, I highly recommend reading my book Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity
I’d love to chat with you more.
Leave me a comment with your questions, thoughts, concerns, or anything that’s on your mind.
P.S. I realize that the topic of this blog post is huge! I wish I had the space to answer every question and clarify every point. I highly encourage you to read the posts listed below to help clarify the many questions that are typically associated with this topic.
Is Being a Woman More than Getting Married and Having Babies?
What is the Purpose of Being a Girl?
Why Feminism and Christianity Can’t Mix
Who Will Raise Your Babies: Daycare or Mommy?