The past few years have been a whirlwind. I started a relationship with Dāv back in October of 2017. We got married in October of 2018. Found out that we were pregnant in June of 2019. And are due with Davey Jr. in February 2020.
Those are all pretty huge life changes and landmarks in my life.
Many of you have followed along with my life’s journey and have been such an encouragement along the way.
I am so grateful for the sisterhood I have in each one of you.
For those of you who are new to this space, here are a few of the videos and blog posts to catch you up to this point in time.
Bethany and David Engagement Story
Bethany Talks Engagement and Marriage
Was Being a Virgin on My Wedding Night Awkward?
Newly Weds Answer Your questions about Love, Purity, and Marriage
Baby Boy and Pregnancy Updates
Over the past few years, I’ve been pretty open about each stage of life. The reason that I want to share my story with you is that I personally find it so helpful to know the stories behind the facts. I don’t just want to know that you started a relationship and got married. I want to know how in the world you found a godly man, what the relationship process looked like, how you knew he was the one, and what the early months of marriage actually looked like.
There is so much we can learn from one another if we’re willing to open up our lives and allow each other to see what God is doing. Through the ups and the downs. The easy and the hard. The Joys and the sorrows.
My journey started out with being single.
Doesn’t everyone’s? I’ve talked a lot about the lessons I learned during that season and shared the importance of not settling out of desperation. Life often feels so hopeless and empty when we don’t know the future. When we don’t know if things will ever change.
Trusting God with the unknown can be really hard.
Throughout my years of being single and praying for God to bring me a husband, I learned one very important lesson. God is good and He can be trusted.
Moving into marriage.
That lesson has carried over into my marriage and sustained me in ways I never could have imagined. Marriage is only as wonderful as the two people make it. If two people go into marriage with a self-serving mindset, it’s going to be a disappointing and unfulfilled marriage. If two people go into marriage with the mindset of loving, serving, and giving to the other, it’s going to be much more satisfying.
Marriage should never be about what you can get out of the other person, but about what you can give.
My first year & a half(ish) of marriage to Dāv has truly been wonderful. It’s not been wonderful because we’re perfect. It’s been wonderful because we’re both committed to loving, serving, and putting the other before ourselves. We’re committed to resolving conflict in a peaceable and biblical way. We’re committed to seeking out mentorship and counsel whenever needed. We’re committed to having godly friendships and good community. We’re committed to being a team and not allowing our emotions to overtake what we know to be true…that we love each other and truly want the best for the other.
If you’d like to grow in your understanding of marriage (whether you’re single or married), I strongly recommend grabbing a copy of Tim Keller’s book, The Meaning of Marriage. That book was a game-changer for Dav and me. It casts a vision for what marriage was truly intended to be. I encourage you to grab a copy.
Finding out I was pregnant.
Dav and I were about seven months into our marriage when we found out we were pregnant with our first little baby.
From the beginning of our marriage, Dav and I had both agreed to entrust God with that area of our lives. We would enjoy our marriage and trust that God would give, or not give, us children as He saw fit.
That mindset was very peaceful for the two of us. If I could go back in time, I would do the exact same thing all over again. I have no regrets. I don’t wish that we’d been married longer before having kids. I’m so grateful that God gave us a child in His perfect timing.
The first few months of pregnancy were pretty rough.
I already struggle with migraines and that first trimester only made it worse. I was in bed with a migraine more than I was out of bed feeling well. I felt like my life was on a cycle of coming out of a migraine and going straight back into one.
Thankfully that cycle eventually ended and my body slowly returned back to “normal.” A new normal of being pregnant and prepping for our sweet baby boy.
My biggest struggle with pregnancy were the changes taking place inside and outside of my body. I just wasn’t prepared for how those changes would make me feel. I wasn’t prepared for the interesting comments people would make in regards to finding out I was pregnant.
“Are you just really bloated or are you pregnant?”
“You really should consider going on a diet. You’ve gained a lot of weight since I saw you last. Just kidding. I know you’re pregnant!”
“You are huge!!!”
Dealing with a changing one body is one thing. Having other people make strange comments to you is another thing.
I know my body is changing and I need to see the beauty in that. I don’t have a waist anymore. My legs look nothing like they used to. Cellulite has overtaken me in ways I never knew possible. The veins and bright marks covering my thighs and rear are making their appearance. My chest is growing and many of my dresses and shirts no longer fit.
I’m not one of those gals who could sport a swimsuit on the beach and look like they attached a baby bump to her pre-pregnancy body. That’s just not my story and that’s okay.
God has been teaching me so much and showing me the beauty of those marks and changes. His design for pregnancy and bringing new life into this world is incredible. Instead of feeling insecure over these new marks, I want to focus on giving thanks and rejoicing over the good gift God has so graciously given to me.
Becoming a mom.
In about four weeks I will welcome my first child and son into the world. My life will forever be changed as a result. I know this is a huge privilege and I’m very grateful for this opportunity God has given to me.
Even though becoming a mom is a huge deal in my life, it’s not the most important thing about me. My priorities will continue to be God first, my husband second, and my kids third. Making sure my priorities remain straight is important to me.
Dāv and I are committed to keeping an open line of communication between us to make sure that our relationship remains strong and healthy. We’re committed to being a team as we venture down this new road of parenthood together.
Many of you have asked how I’m feeling about labor and bringing this new life into the world. To be honest, I am so excited. I feel like I’m on the countdown to the big race day. I actually feel a ton of anticipation and excitement about labor itself. I know it will be incredibly painful, but I view the pain with a lot of purpose. For some reason, that part doesn’t scare. It excites me.
After much research, visiting clinics, and interviewing different hospitals, birth centers, and midwives, we have decided on a homebirth. I love the idea of being at home in my comfort zone for this experience. Having witnessed several homebirths over the years, I feel very excited and confident about this decision for our family.
I can’t wait to record a vlog after the baby comes and share about the experience.
Where am I going from here?
I have no idea what the future will look like after the baby comes. My plan is to take some time off and then jump back into Girl Defined after I’m settled into motherhood. It won’t look the same, but I hope to continue writing books and creating content. I love the sisterhood and I very much desire to be apart of this group.
We will see how that works out over the next few months.
That’s it!
Hopefully, that answers some of the questions you’ve been asking me through email and DM’s. I’d love to continue the conversation and answer any additional questions you might have.
Feel free to comment below letting me know if there are any specifics you’d like me to expand on.
