Modesty Hacks for the HOT Summer Months

Modesty Hacks for the HOT Summer Months

Trying to embrace modesty is hard enough on a good day…but throw in some 100 degree summer heat and we’ve got quite the challenge on our hands. As a Texas born and raised girl, I know this all too well.

Modesty is fairly easy during the cooler months, but when summer hits it can become excruciatingly hard! Can I get an amen??

As hard as it is though, here’s what I’ve learned. Modesty is possibly during the summertime with a little creativity and a little brainstorming outside of the normal box. And let’s face it, in 100 degree heat, we’re all going to be sweating no matter what we wear.

But to make the heat a little more bearable, here my my top 5 favorite summer modesty hacks.

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Why Romance, Modesty, and Femininity Point to the Gospel

“Instead of wasting time on topics like romance, modesty, and womanhood…why don’t you keep the focus on the gospel? Your Christian blog should primarily be about how to love Jesus more.”

Over the years, we’ve received several emails and DM’s from Christian girls who have expressed their concern to us at Girl Defined Ministries, asking why we waste time writing about “secondary” issues rather than keeping the focus exclusively on the gospel. They’ve expressed disappointment that we take time to write about “minor” issues like romance, dating, modesty, and femininity.

Let’s talk about this.

Why do we take time to write about topics like love, romance, modesty, and femininity?

I mean, as Christian girls, shouldn’t we focus on loving Jesus and loving others? Yes and absolutely. Loving Jesus and loving others are the greatest commandments (Matthew 22:36-40). This should be the engine that drives everything else in our lives. However, loving Jesus and loving others isn’t just a passionate feeling — it’s an action. True love for God should result in a heart change that ultimate leads to a life change. People don’t know we’re Christians by our inner desires…they know we’re Christians by the Fruit of our life (John 15, Romans 12:9-21). 

As followers of Jesus, we reflect the gospel and show our love for Christ through our heart-transformed actions. 

The Bible refers to these “actions” as good works (Matthew 5:16).

Our actions, words, and choices should reflect the image of the One we’re called to bear. And since we are image bearers in all things, these “secondary” issues matter. In fact, we would argue that issues like romance, love, modesty, and femininity only matter because of the gospel.

Because of Christ and His work on the cross, we are made new. We have been given a new identity. As His children, we are called to honor and glorify Him in every aspect of our lives. Titus 3 talks about how our good works as believers should be an overflow of our Salvation. As Christian women, we should strive after good works in every area of our lives. Not to earn our Salvation, but to live out the impact of our Salvation. 

And that is exactly why we write on these sort of topics. In fact, our book Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity, addresses a lot of these topics as well. The way we navigate beauty issues, interact with guys, view success, treat our family, and live our lives as females will directly impact our testimony for the gospel.

Let’s take a quick look at each area.

True Love and the Gospel. 

Hollywood’s version of true love is often rooted in strong feelings; but God’s definition is rooted in genuine actions (John 13:35). Biblical love doesn’t hinge on what someone else does or doesn’t do for you— it’s based solely on your own personal choice to give love.

No person in all of history demonstrated this type of love better than Jesus himself. Romans 5:8 reveals this powerful love when it says, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

God’s recipe for true love is rooted in selfless action and undeserving grace. Biblical love has the power to change lives, restore relationships, and draw you closer to your family and friends.

Putting others above ourselves and choosing to show true love to them is exactly what Christ demonstrated through His death on the cross. If we take God’s version of love into our romantic relationships, family, friendships, and marriage, we will display the gospel in a profoundly impactful way. Read more about this in our blog post titled, True Love: What it is and What it isn’t

Modesty and the Gospel. 

Here’s a crazy thought: clothes did not exist before sin entered our world. There was no shame and no reason to cover our nakedness. But from the time God killed the animal in the garden and covered Adam and Eve (Genesis 3), clothing became a symbol and foreshadow of our need to be covered by Christ’s righteousness. Just like Adam and Eve needed God to cover their shame, we need Christ to cover ours. That is why Christ had to shed His blood on the cross — to clothe us in His righteousness and save us from our sins.

Clothing is so much more than “just being modest.” Clothes are a powerful picture of the gospel. Our clothing is a constant reminder of our need for Christ. They’re a reminder of what Christ did for us and the price that He paid for our sin. They remind us that a day is coming when Christ will return again and make all things new. 

When we begin to view clothing from that lens, covering our nakedness makes so much more sense. Wearing clothes started back in Genesis and should continue until we are ultimately perfected in Heaven with God. Although the Bible doesn’t give us a black and white standard for modesty, we should all care about this area of our lives because God does.

“Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control…with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works” 1 Timothy 2:9-10). To read more about clothing, check out, The Naked Truth About Why We Wear Clothes.

Femininity and the Gospel. 

In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve and intentionally made them to be male and female (Genesis 1 & 2). Being a female today has a ton of significance because of that original act of God. God purposely, intentionally, and with forethought invented the woman – you – to be totally different from the man.

In order to give you and me a small glimpse of God’s divine nature, He carefully crafted the human race to be a reflection of His personal image (Genesis 1:26). He designed the man and the woman to display the glory of God in ways that are unique to each gender.

He designed us as equally valuable humans with two different roles and purposes in this world. We are called to glorify God by serving Him in ways distinctly designed for our female gender. When we embrace and live out biblical femininity, we glorify God and put Him on display. Read more about this in our blog post titled, Choosing Feminine Faith in a Feminist World.

When we dig beneath the surface, we quickly see that topics like love, romance, modesty, and femininity are so much more than “back-burner” issues. 

God cares about every area of our lives and calls us to glorify Him in how we navigate each area. Embracing a Biblical understanding of love, romance, modesty, and femininity isn’t as much about us as it is about us living a redeemed life that reflects the God who saved us. 

God cares about our hearts and our actions. That’s why James 2:14 & 26 says, “What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.”

The way we live our life in small and big areas matters. And that is exactly why we tackle “secondary” issues here at GirlDefined. And that is also why we are so excited for you to get your hands on our book, Girl Defined (if you haven’t already). The way we live our lives as Christian women is a daily opportunity to put the gospel of Jesus on display. 

I’d love to hear from you below. 

  • How has the gospel impacted your own life in areas like love, romance, modesty, and femininity?

PS You only have a few weeks left to join us for the 2020 Girl Defined Online Conference! Tickets are only $39 and you’ll get lifetime access to everything! Get your ticket now and join us on July 31 – August 1, 2020.

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Why Jesus Offers More than Self-Forgiveness

The process of self-forgiveness is very popular and encouraged by many today. The big questions at hand:

IS IT BIBLICAL?
IS IT HELPFUL?

Is self-forgiveness the answer to overcoming the guilt and shame we so often carry?

Another way to put it…If Christ has forgiven you, do you also have to forgive yourself? Let’s dig into this crucial topic and unpack what Scripture has to say about forgiveness.

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Moving Beyond the Guilt from Your Past

I felt like a fool after the breakup. I wondered how I could have been so blind. Why did I make so many excuses for him? Why didn’t I listen to those around me?

Looking back is always 20/20. 

After this particular breakup, I saw the relationship for what it truly was. A disaster. God was so gracious to me and gave me enough wisdom to break it off before things got worse. 

I am beyond grateful for family and friends who refused to give up on me.

They told me the truth about that relationship even when I didn’t want to hear it. 

The months following the breakup were filled with some of the greatest spiritual growth in my life. I came to understand the forgiveness of God in ways I had never fully grasped before. 

Although the enemy was hard at work trying to keep me stuck in guilt over that relationship, God’s mighty grace was a greater pull. 

I clearly remember being on a walk and just thinking through all that had transpired in my life. I remember feeling so guilty over my bad choices and actions. I remember feeling like such a naive, proud, fool. I also remember God gently reminding my heart about the truth of the gospel. 

Jesus didn’t die and rise again for perfect people. 

He conquered sin and death for the lost, foolish, naive, and sinful people just like me.

He was perfect in my place. 

He was humble.

He was sacrificial. 

He was loving. 

He was good.

He was gracious,

He was kind. 

He was forgiving.  

My revelation on that walk was that I didn’t need to be a “guilt-free girl” to earn God’s love. God wasn’t surprised by my sin. He was so fully aware of my sin that He sent Jesus to earth 2,000 years ago to deal with it. I no longer needed to measure up to the impossible standard of goodness I was holding myself to.

I could finally look at my guilt-ridden self in the mirror and accept God’s love and forgiveness. 

Where are you today? Where is your heart? Is there something in your life that haunts you? Something that the enemy tries to hold over your head as “too big” or “too much” for God to forgive? 

Do you ever wrestle with fear, shame, and doubt over a choice you’ve made? 

My hope is that guilt will no longer be what defines you. My hope is that you will walk in the gracious gospel of Jesus. 

Remember Adam and Eve back in the garden? Remember how they sinned against God and then tried to hide from God? It was foolish and silly. God knew exactly where they were and what they had done. 

We often do the exact same thing. Instead of running towards God, confessing, repenting, and accepting His forgiveness, we try to hide. We try to cover. We try to make excuses.

Excuses about our sin never help. It only makes the guilt and shame worse.

3 Truths about God’s Forgiveness 

1. God’s forgiveness is an act of selfless love. 

The Bible makes it clear that Jesus died for us while we were yet sinners. We were dead in our trespasses. We were against God. Jesus died for our sins and chose to love us when we were completely unlovable. 

God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

I love this definition of forgiveness: “The word “forgive” means to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt. When we wrong someone, we seek their forgiveness in order for the relationship to be restored. Forgiveness is not granted because a person deserves to be forgiven. No one deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is an act of love, mercy, and grace. Forgiveness is a decision to not hold something against another person, despite what they have done to you.” –got questions

2. God promises to grant forgiveness if we ask for it.

God makes it very clear throughout Scripture that He will forgive us if we ask. There is nothing we can do that is beyond the reach of God. We can’t sin bad enough that His grace can’t cover. What a merciful and gracious God we serve. He is so faithful. 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

What a merciful, kind, loving God we serve. If we confess, He is faithful and just and will forgive us. He doesn’t hold our sins over our heads and keep reminding us of them. He forgives us and cleanses us from all unrighteousness. 

As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

3. Eternal forgiveness is found at the cross. 

Death is an imminent reality for all of us. One day we will die and spend eternity with God or eternity separated from God. The only way to have our guilt wiped away for all of eternity, and have access to a personal relationship with God forever, is by trusting in Jesus’ death and resurrection for our salvation. 

In Him, we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace. Ephesians 1:7

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Romans 10:9-10

Don’t allow the guilt from your past to cripple your future. 

Yes, we are all guilty of sin. There is none of us who is perfect, not one. And that’s okay. That’s why Jesus came. That’s what the gospel is for. It’s to make right what we have made so wrong. It’s to remove our guilt and give us Jesus’ perfection in our place. 

If you’re struggling with ongoing guilt from your past, I encourage you to look up the verses I’ve shared in the post. Read them in your Bible. Write them down. Ask yourself why you’re struggling to repent and receive the forgiveness that God has granted you. What’s keeping you from fully receiving God’s love and forgiveness in your life? 

Take a moment to more fully reflect on what we’ve discussed today. Ask God to help you to trust Him completely. Thank Him for His perfect love, kindness, and forgiveness. 

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Battling Sexual Temptation as a Christian Girl

Losing the battle against sexual temptation is one of the most discouraging things for many Christian girls. I know, because I’ve been there many times. Just when we thought we were stronger than yesterday, we find ourselves in that same place of failure.

So what’s a girl to do? Personally, I think we need a better battle plan.

We need to understand how temptation actually works. Temptation isn’t sin…but it entices us toward sin in a very sneaky (but consistent) way. In Genesis, Eve fell for temptation’s schemes in the exact same way that we fall for temptation today.

Let’s roll up our sleeves together and get into the nitty gritty of how sexual temptation works and what we can do to win the battle Biblically.

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To the Christian Girl Who’s Tired of Pursuing Purity

My eyes lingered a little too long. My mind wandered a little too far. Instead of fleeing the temptation, I gave into my lustful fantasies. A wave of discouragement washed over me. I had failed… again. That’s it! I told myself. That’s the last time I’m going to give into my lust. I recommitted to myself that I would walk the path of sexual purity from that point forward. But like clockwork, several days would pass, and I would fail again. On and on this cycle spun, leaving me more exhausted and weary with each new failure. 

Looking back on my younger self now, I can see how unhelpful and unbiblical my mindset toward purity was. Somewhere along the way, I had bought into the idea that I could embrace a life of perfect purity. I viewed purity as an area of my life that just needed a little more determination and hard work. If I committed to purity, I should be able to stick to my commitment. Right? 

It sounds good. 

But here’s the major problem with my mindset back then.

I was pursuing purity from a works-based “perfectionist” mentality. I was viewing purity as another goal on my daily Christian achievement list. I just needed to “work” harder to accomplish it. But here’s the problem. Purity isn’t primarily a daily challenge to be achieved through hard work and gumption. Purity isn’t a battle to be fought with determination alone. 

Purity is a heart issue. Sexual sin is a heart issue. 

The only way to find lasting victory for a heart issue is to seek help from the One (Jesus) who transforms hearts from the inside out (Psalm 51:10). Purity is not only a physical and mental battle — it’s a spiritual battle. It’s a battle against sin and the flesh. Our hearts have been corrupted by sin, therefore we can’t pursue a perfect life of purity in our own strength. 

As Christians, here’s what we need to understand (excerpt pulled from Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart):  

“If we, as women, want to embrace purity as God designed it, we must first acknowledge the fact that we are very imperfect. In and of ourselves, we are completely impure and unable to change that. ‘The fact is that none of us is 100% sexually pure—we have all missed God’s ‘plan A’ of perfection. Our purity according to Scripture is determined by the blood of Jesus Christ, not by our sexual choices. There are not some women who need Jesus more than others. As the Bible says, all of us have sinned and are ‘dirty’ before God. It is only Jesus’ atoning death on the cross that supernaturally presents us as a pure and spotless Bride.’ 

That must be our starting place. We must acknowledge our need for Jesus.

We must accept His perfect righteousness in place of our very imperfect lives.

Once you’ve accepted the fact that you are imperfect and in need of Christ’s perfection, it will totally change your focus. Instead of striving to live up to some impossible standard of perfection, you will recognize your need for Jesus.  Your entire life is about accepting His grace and walking in that new identity. You are no longer just an imperfect woman. You are an imperfect woman with a perfect Savior. He equips you to fight the battle. He offers you forgiveness over and over again. He gives you His identity as a daughter of God (John 1:12). Your life’s aim is about worshiping your God above all else. 1 Peter 1:16–17, “But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do, for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’”

Did you catch that? We are imperfect women with a perfect Savior. 

Fighting sexual sin isn’t about being perfect, but about looking to the One who was perfect on our behalf. It wasn’t until I understood my need for Jesus in the battle for purity that I began to change my tactics. Instead of “trying harder” or “shooting for perfection,” I began humbling myself and seeking God’s help. 

I memorized verses like Psalm 51:10 and asked God to change my heart’s desires: “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” I began praying more regularly, asking God for the strength to honor Him that day. My mindset changed from viewing purity as a “Christian task” to an area of my life that I could honor and glorify God in. Ultimately, pursuing purity became less about my perfect report card, and more about loving God with my whole heart (Matthew 22:37). 

Did all of the sexual temptations go away?

Nope (and they never will). But I had learned to fight the battle against sin with the right heart posture.  I wasn’t looking to myself anymore, I was looking to God. And by His grace working in me day by day, I began to see a lot more victory in my life. 

As you wrestle with sexual temptations in your own life, I pray you will choose to fight the battle with the right weapons. Don’t chase after Christian perfectionism, but rather pursue a daily relationship with the perfect Savior. Ask God for the daily grace and strength needed to walk in holiness and honor for His glory. Spend time with Him through His Word and prayer. Cultivate a genuine love for Him in your heart. The greatest weapon against sin, is a greater love for the Savior. 

If you desire to grow in your understanding of purity and sexuality, you will really enjoy reading  Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart. I hope this book blesses you! 

Let’s chat below. 

  • Have you ever told yourself to just “try harder” when it comes to purity? What happened?
  • What can you do today to pursue a deeper relationship with Jesus?

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