Single & Longing for Romance During the Holidays

Single & Longing for Romance During the Holidays

The holidays can be the most wonderful time of the year and they can also be the most lonely time of the year.

With chick-flicks and romance movies being released in droves, it may feel like everyone is in a relationship except for you.

All you want for Christmas is a boyfriend. Is that really too much to ask?

The two of us remember those days. We remember the loneliness. The jealousy. The wishing we had that someone special to kiss under the mistletoe. We get it.

Yes, your single status may be more apparent during the holidays, but this doesn’t have to be a miserable time for you. With a few helpful truths and practical tips, you can learn to thrive during this season.

With a boyfriend or without.

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Are You a Rule Follower or a Christ Follower?

Have you ever seen a mamma duck with her babies following in a neat little line behind her? It’s an adorable sight. As a kid, I loved going to the pond to watch the cute little ducklings waddle behind their mommies.

Mommy duck jumps in the water. Baby ducks jump in the water.

Mommy duck sits down for a nap. Baby ducks sit down for a nap.

Mommy duck stands up and starts walking. Baby ducks start walking.

These little ducklings have their eyes on their mommy and they copy her every move. When ducks behave this way, it’s totally adorable. When grown adults act this way, it’s seriously concerning.

Sadly, over the past few years the Christian community has seen the fall of several prominent Christian leaders. Moral failure, secret sins, deceitful lifestyles and more. To add to the problem these Christian leaders had been placed on a pedestal and had a trail of ducklings following closely behind. Whatever these leaders said, people did. Just like the ducklings.

We, as Christians, have a major tendency to act like baby ducklings.

We find a Christian leader, place them on a pedestal, and copy their every move.

Leader says, girls should only wear skirts. Followers only wear skirts.

Leader says, don’t listen to contemporary Christian music. Followers don’t listen to it.

Leader says, don’t touch alcohol. Followers don’t touch alcohol.

Leader says, (fill in the blank). Followers do (fill in the blank).

Instead of being Bereans (i.e. examining what they hear and comparing it to the Word) we, as Christians, often become followers of men and obeyers of rules.

I want to take some time today to ask you why you do what you do.

My prayer is that all of us will make God’s Word our final authority and will compare any and everything we hear to the Word. Let’s build our lives on the solid foundation of the Bible and make sure our personal convictions are rooted in Truth, not man-made rules.

Remember, men/women (even Christian leaders) will fail, but the Word of the Lord will never fail. Base your convictions, beliefs, lifestyle and goals around the Word of God. Not a certain group, Christian trend, set of rules or leader.

Over the past few years I’ve really had to evaluate my own heart.

I’ve had to ask myself, “why do I do what I do? Why do I have the convictions I have? Why do I have the morals I have? Why do I seek out relationships the way I do.” I’ve had to evaluate my own set of beliefs and make sure that my heart truly desires to honor God above all else..

I want you to evaluate your own heart and ask yourself this series of questions:

1. Am I Doing This For People or for God?

Way too often, we, as Christians, live life for the approval of people rather than God. We want people to look at us and think, “wow! She doesn’t wear makeup, she’s so inward focused. What a godly young lady.” Sadly, the heart of that young lady is living for the approval of people not for God. Make sure that your heart’s motive is for Christ, not for man.

2. What Does the Bible Say About This?

Don’t be a blind follower. Don’t follow a certain “Christian trend” just because it’s all the rage. Know what the Bible says and have conviction for yourself. Know why you do what you do. I challenge you to study the Word and create convictions based on the foundation of God’s truth.

3. Is My Heart Rooted in Pride?

Do you view yourself as “holier than thou” because of your convictions? Do you look down upon other Christians who don’t hold to your same set of beliefs? Check your heart for pride and remind yourself that you are living to honor Christ. Remind yourself daily of how much you need Christ and strive to pour out Christ’s love daily on those around you. Reflect Christ’s love, compassion, mercy and grace to those whom you disagree with.

4. Am I Idolizing a Leader?

Are you basing your personal beliefs and convictions on a certain leader’s point of view? Do you view that leader as all-knowing? What will happen if that leader were to fail you? I HIGHLY encourage you to check out 1 Corinthians 3 and make sure that you are following Christ and not man.

5. Am I Putting on a Show?

I’ve seen way too many Christian girls who are walking-the-Christian-walk just because they want to look good. Their hearts aren’t in it but they want to look the part (I’ll be the first to admit thst I’ve been here). Why are you doing what you are doing? Are you just putting on the Christian show or do you really believe what you are living?

Let’s be Christian girls who stand firm on the Word.

Let’s declare ourselves as Christ followers not a (you fill in the blank) follower. Christian “trends” will come and go, but the Word of God remains forever.

It’s your turn to answer.

Why do you do what you do? Are you first and foremost a follower of Christ? Have you (or someone you know) ever idolized a Christian leader?

I’d love to hear from you. Share your thoughts with me in the comments below.

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How God Transforms Broken Lives into Beautiful Stories

Our hearts can be broken in thousands of ways for this is a heartbreaking world. But the good news is that Christ can heal our broken and crushed spirit.  The One who will uphold us with the right hand of His righteousness cares for us abundantly and can wrap liniments around our wounded hearts. The One whose breath births galaxies into being also births healing into our broken hearts.

Our brokenness can be a canvas to show God’s light to others.

To us, broken things are despised as worthless, but God can take what has been broken and remake it into something better, something that He can use for His glory.

Broken things and broken people are the results of sin. Yet God sent His Son, who was without sin, to die for us so that we might be healed (2 Corinthians 5:21). On the night before He died, Jesus broke the bread and said, “This is my body, which is broken for you” (Luke 22:19).   

Jesus went to Calvary to die for our sins so that if we accept Him as our Savior, we can live in Heaven with our Lord eternally.

Only when we surrender to Christ can we be restored and transformed.

I love what 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

Let us be thankful daily for God’s amazing love and grace! Without the broken body of Jesus, we could not be made whole. “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5). Our deepest wounds can birth the deepest and greatest wisdom and treasures.

Through our trials, we learn to cling to Christ and our trust and faith grow abundantly. Hannah tasted salty tears of infertility (1 Samuel 1). Elijah howled for God to take his life (1 Kings 19). God does great things through the greatly wounded.

God cares for the broken and He can change our broken hearts into a beautiful story.  


There was once an alabaster jar that broke to give Christ all the glory (Matthew 26:6-13). Our lives through our brokenness can be used for the Lord and for His glory! When we lean on the Lord through our trials we will see that God provides the best path for us.

When we have a broken heart our brokenness can lead us to glorify Christ.
In Christ — no matter the way, the storm, or the story — we always know the outcome. Our Savior surrounds us and loves us unconditionally. When we know and love Christ, we can cling to the promise “that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

I’d love to hear from you below.

  • How have you seen God work through your brokenness?

This beautiful guest post was written by Emma Dieterle.

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A Message for Every Christian Girl

We don’t know what you’re currently going through or what kind of trials you’re facing. But, as one fellow sister-in-Christ to another, we know this.

You can have true hope and confidence in Christ and in God’s Word. 

The two of us know that life can be hard. Really hard! We all face pressures, trials, and challenges of some variety.

So what in the world are we supposed to do when the peer-pressure hits? What are we supposed to do when our circumstances seem to be drowning us?

What are we supposed to do when life just doesn’t make sense?

Here are several truths that have kept the two of us going through the thick and thin.

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You’re Not Crazy for Wanting a Boyfriend

“So timely. It makes so much sense. Sometimes I feel like I’m crazy lol…”

“…I know and agree with everything that was said, but it was good to hear it from someone else at a time when I really want to be held and loved by a guy. It’s nice to know I’m not alone on this journey…” 

“SO GOOD!!!! Thank you! I’ve always struggled with having crushes on guys…”

These are a few of the comments I received on one of my articles that was recently published (Why You’re Looking for Jesus in Your Boyfriend) This article’s main idea was to point girls to Christ’s perfect love instead of a guy’s imperfect affections. While I do believe that only He can satisfy us, which I pointed out in the article, I also believe that most men and women are designed for marriage—and even for the romance, infatuation, and sex that marriage entails.

At the beginning of the article, I shared a story about me desperately wanting to be noticed by a guy who didn’t even know I was alive. Apparently, based on the comments I received, this story resonated with other young women. They could relate to my feelings and longings. 

Some of the comments I received actually broke my heart.

The reason my heart hurt was because it seemed like thecommenters could only express their feelings in the comments section under my article. Was that the only “safe” place for them to share how they truly felt about guys and relationships? My story of longing and loneliness was their story, too. 

Did someone teach these young women that it was strange or unspiritual to want a guy’s attention? What sermon, youth group lesson, or Bible study told them that wanting Christ would cause them to never want a boyfriend? What ministry leader, pastor, or teacher said they shouldn’t desire to get married, date, or have sex?

That isn’t right.

In fact, I want to spread the opposite message—that our desire for guys’ attention and love is completely normal. It’s part of our DNA.

And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,“This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:22-25 ESV)

God—our sovereign and holy Creator—designed us to marry.

And we probably wouldn’t want to get married if we didn’t have emotions, would we? Our desires and longings for guys to notice us and love us are met in marriage.

“…Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16).

The footnote in the ESV version says “shall be contrary to” may also be “shall be toward.” So, perhaps our desire for male attention (and, ultimately, for a husband) is also a result of the Curse. The consequences of the Fall affect every area of our lives—including our relationships with guys. 

We experience feelings toward a guy that seem unbearable, crushes that make us obsessed and urges for sex that can’t seem to be quenched. I think those are results of the Fall. Sin skewed the way we think, feel, and act. But that doesn’t make us dirty for wanting a boyfriend.

It’s not abnormal to have a crush on a guy. It’s not unspiritual to want him to ask you out. It’s not crazy to want to marry him.

Girls, our emotions, thoughts, and bodies are wired for having a husband and for every step along the way. 

Maybe I’m just the weird one. Maybe I’m the only one who has strong feelings toward guys. Maybe I’m the only one who wants him to date me, kiss me, and marry me. 

But I have a strong inclination that I’m not the only one—and neither are you.

No matter what you read in a Christian magazine, hear in a youth group lesson, or see in a faith-based movie, you’re not crazy for wanting a boyfriend. You’re not alone in how you feel. God designed us for this, and our craving is even stronger (and sometimes seemingly unbearable) because of sin’s consequences. 

Please don’t believe the lie that you’re the only one who feels this way.

One day, when God deems best, you’ll need your emotions and desires to connect to your husband. For now, don’t be ashamed of them. You’re not weird, crazy, or unspiritual. You’re a woman, and that’s how God created you.

GUEST BLOG: Grace M. is a college student, a blogger, and a writer. She enjoys spending time with her family, chatting with friends, and eating cookie dough. She writes about the Christian life at Tizzie’s Tidbits of Truth.

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15 Amazing Things You Can Thank God for Today

Life on earth is a far cry from perfect. In fact, it can often feel overwhelmingly negative at times. In my own life, I’m tempted to focus on the things that go wrong more than the things that go right. I find myself zeroing in on the negative stuff until my sight turns into a depressing tunnel vision. I can’t see anything good anymore because I’m so zoomed in on what’s not going my way.

Ever been there?

Honestly, it’s a depressing and sad way to live.

There’s no joy in the negative tunnel vision…yet we all do it regularly. Since this is the month for giving thanks, I thought it would be a really good idea to dedicate this post to overcoming our tunnel vision and instead, choosing gratitude.

As Christian girls, we have a million reasons to give thanks, with the biggest being our Salvation through Jesus. We should be the leading example of gratitude and joyfulness. Yet sadly, we’re often not; and it’s largely because we choose to focus on the wrong things.

With Thanksgiving Day around the corner, I thought it would be really good for all of us (me included) to refocus our thinking. I’m starting a gratitude list below, and I want you to add to it.

Choosing gratitude is the key to becoming a joy-filled woman, regardless of what happens in life. Let’s give thanks together!

15 Amazing Things You Can Thank God for Today:

1. You woke up this morning which means God has a purpose and a plan for you today. Every new day is a gift! “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).

2. God loves you more than anyone in this world ever could. His love never fails. “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever” (Psalm 107:1).

3. You have free access to the greatest, most life-changing book ever written – the Bible (Romans 15:4).

4. God handcrafted you just the way you look, and He says you’re wonderful! (Psalm 139:13-14).

5. No matter how heavy your personal burdens are, God has the power to sustain you through them (Psalm 55:22).

6. God’s forgiveness is bigger than your biggest sin. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

7. This broken earth is not our home. Jesus is coming back again. Hallelujah! (1 Thess. 4:16-17)

8. Every sunrise and sunset is a gift from our Creator. “From the rising of the sun to its setting, the name of the Lord is to be praised” (Psalm 113:3).

9. Heaven is going to be awesome! You get to spend all of forever with your Creator, Savior, and loving Father (John 14:2).

10. God sees your secret tears and He hears your silent cries. He can’t wait to wipe them away forever. “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore…” (Rev. 21:4a).

11. Life may seem confusing at times, but God sees the bigger picture. He is always 100% in control (Isaiah 41:10).

12. God gives us what we need, even when we don’t know we need it. “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand” (Proverbs 19:21).

13. Do you remember that really hard thing that happened in your life? Well, God will use those things for good “for those who love God…for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

14. Not sure what to do with your future? Well, guess what? God knows what you need to do. Seek Him and trust Him and He will make your paths straight (Prov. 3:5-6).

15. Do you wish you had a super-close-best-friend? As corny as this may sound, Jesus is truly the most incredible friend you could ever have. He is the perfect friend. He will never fail you. Never abandon you. Never let you down. He is God – and He wants to have an intimate relationship with you. “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8a).

Just reading this list renews my heart and mind!

There is so much to be grateful for. God is so good to us! Let’s keep this gratitude list going. It’s your turn to add #16 and beyond! What are you grateful for today? Share with me below.

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