• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer
GirlDefined
  • Topics
  • Courses
  • Books
  • Shop
  • Donate
  • Kristen & Bethany
    ▼
    • Speaking
    • Statement of Faith
  • Articles
  • Topics
  • Podcast
  • Videos
  • Conference
  • Courses
  • Books
    ▼
    • Not Part of the Plan
    • Girl Defined Book
    • Love Defined
    • Sex, Purity, & Longings
    • Shine Bright
  • Shop
  • Contact
DonateLogin

Christian Girls Ask Honest Question About Sexual Purity

Christian Girls Ask Honest Question About Sexual Purity

Kristen and Bethany YouTube Image

If I feel like I may never get married, is it okay to find sexual pleasure in other ways? 

What’s the best way to tell someone I’m waiting for marriage to have sex? 

How far can I go until becoming sexually impure? 

The two of us want you to know that you’re not alone when you ask these questions.

We’ve asked similar questions ourselves. When it comes to the topics of sex, purity, longings and personal struggles, we (as Christian girls) want true biblical help.

We don’t want to stay stuck in our confusion. 

In today’s video, we unpack all of these questions and more. Join the conversation as we discuss what it looks like to embrace sexual purity as God intended.

November 6, 2019 by Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal

Filed Under: Videos Tagged With: Purity, Q&A, Sex, Sexual Struggles

A Call of Action to Single Christian Women

christian girls

I was one of those “undistracted singles” that was totally distracted by marriage. I spent half of my life totally focused on serving the Lord and the other half totally focused on finding my man. 

That was Bethany Baird in her late teens and early twenties. 

Somewhere in between wanting to make the most of my single years and desiring to live an “undistracted” life for Christ, I got distracted. Really distracted. I so wanted to serve Christ, but I also really wanted to get married. 

It wasn’t until my mid-to-late twenties that I finally understood and began to truly live out God’s call for my life. 

Do you know the passage in 1 Corinthians 7 that talks about being married versus unmarried? Well, the apostle Paul (the author of the book), is unpacking the idea that the unmarried man and woman have a unique availability to serve the Lord totally undistracted. Here’s what he said. 

“I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”

Do you see what Paul is pointing out in this passage? 

He’s saying that singles have the incredible opportunity to have undivided devotion to the Lord. Nothing is (or should be) distracting the unmarried from pouring out their lives for Jesus. I get that he was talking to specific people in his day, but I think we can benefit from what he’s saying. 

Singleness provides the unique opportunity to focus completely on the Lord. 

I wish that I had understood this more clearly in my early twenties. It wasn’t until my mid-twenties that I finally surrendered my “ideal plan for my life” to God and truly began living for Him.

When I hit my mid-twenties, trusting God to work out my future (whether that meant marriage or not) became my new way of living. I daily surrendered my life to Him and asked Him to use me in whatever way He saw fit. I began pouring out my time, energy and focus on serving Christ. 

Surrendering my future plans to God was one of the most freeing things I’ve ever done. 

If you’re single, I want to challenge you to take a few minutes to think about your life. Are you spending this unique season of your life totally focused on the Lord? If not, why not? What’s keeping you from using this incredible season of youthfulness and freedom from serving God more fully? 

Although I’m married now, I was single for thirty years. I know what it’s like to want to get married. I get the fears. I get the worries. I get the anxiety. I get the being a bridesmaid over and over and over again. I get all of that. 

I can tell you wholeheartedly that the BEST years of my single life were the years I lived all out for Christ. The less I focused on finding my man, and the more I focused on living for Jesus, the more content and joy-filled I was.

I want the same for you. 

Don’t waste your single years pining after the future.

Choose to live in a way that reflects the verse above, “that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” 

In my book, Love Defined, I have two chapters for single women. I wrote those chapters while I was totally and completely single. They come from a heart and life that gets what you’re going through. In chapter eight I say,

“As I write this chapter, I am still single. I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t have a valentine. I don’t have a man to whisper sweet nothings into my ear. It’s me and only me. Even with my complete and total singleness, I can honestly say that I’m not just surviving this season, but I am genuinely thriving. And it’s amazing.”

That can be you. You can be a woman who says, “even though I’m totally single, I’m thriving.” 

You can be a woman who thrives on living all out for Christ. 

That’s where true freedom and purpose is found. 

I encourage you to read chapter eight, “When Your Heart’s Desire Is Unfulfilled” and chapter nine, “Five Strategies for Thriving as a Single Girl” of Love Defined. In it you will find the tools needed to become a totally undistracted single woman for Christ! 

In closing, I want to clarify one thing. 

Marriage is a good thing that God created. I love that so many single women desire marriage. My issue isn’t that so many single women desire this wonderful covenant of marriage, my problem is that we allow this desire to overtake our lives and waste these precious single years pining after the future. 

Let’s choose to live more intentionally. 

I want to hear from you now. What’s keeping you from living a totally undistracted life for Christ? How can you change this?

November 5, 2019 by Bethany Beal

Filed Under: Blog, Femininity Tagged With: Missional Living, Singleness, The Future, Trust

Talking Kanye West, Christianity, and Jesus is King!

Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal Kanye West

Kanye West recently dropped a brand new album title, Jesus is King! 

The two of us have been talking a lot about Kayne and his new album and his newly declared faith in Jesus. We’ve been asking many of the same questions that you’ve been asking.

Is he a genuine Christian? When did all of this happen? What is his new album all about? 

The two of us don’t know Kanye West personally. We haven’t had a one-on-one conversation with him. We don’t know the true reality of his heart.

What we do know is that God has the power to transform any heart! It doesn’t matter how famous, rich, conservative, or liberal that person may be. No one is out of the reach of God’s transforming grace.

October 30, 2019 by Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal

Filed Under: Videos Tagged With: Culture, Media

A Complicated Mess Made Beautiful

girl by water

I plopped down on my bed, exhausted from the week’s events.

I then began trying to unravel my mess. A mess of emotions, thoughts, intentions, words spoken, and implications.

As I sat there replaying every word of our conversation, trying to glean any hint of interest or non-interest, I finally broke down. I couldn’t figure it out.

No matter how hard I tried, I could not understand what was going on in my heart.

I was trying to figure out if I really liked a guy, and if he actually liked me. But the more I psychoanalyzed every aspect of my situation the more helpless and entangled I felt.

Tears started forming in my eyes as my incompetence seemed to be screaming at me.

Why does love have to be so complicated? Why does it have to be so confusing? As those questions swirled in my head, the Lord graciously handed me the answer: true love isn’t complicated, nor is it confusing.

Rather, it’s beautiful and satisfying and precious.

I’m not talking about Disney princess’s true love here. I’m talking about true agape love. The love that Christ exhibited countless times in the Bible. The kind of love that we as sinners aren’t even capable of, yet that God shows to us every day of our lives.

As His word says, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

God loved us so much, and He cares for us so deeply, that He was willing to send His Son Jesus to die for us. Think about that for a minute. Jesus Christ, perfect and holy, living in absolute paradise, came down, took on our humanness, lived in our messy, evil-filled world for over 30 years, teaching and healing people who couldn’t even fully fathom His greatness, and then absorbed a cruel punishment for our wrongdoings.

How’s that for selfless love?

What’s more, no one on planet earth could ever love us more than God does. Not our parents, siblings, friends, or even husbands.

The more I pondered this, the more I began to see that God’s love for me is uncomplicated. He loves me simply because He does and I am His. Isn’t that wonderful?

Regardless of age, gender, social status, paycheck size, IQ, Instagram followers, ethnicity, background, hobbies, or anything—He loves me unconditionally. And He loves you unconditionally.

It’s an amazing thought, isn’t it?

Having someone love you that much? Who always will, even into eternity? Plain and simple. Uncomplicated. God loves me. God loves you. God loves the guys in your life.

So why worry? Why spend hours trying to figure out love, when you can rest in the sweet love of God? Now I’m not saying don’t ever enter a relationship or like a guy. What I am saying is that when you’re single, wondering if a guy will ever love you, God loves you. When you are in a relationship, but things aren’t going as well as you’d hoped, God loves you. When you’re married and you’re wondering why it wasn’t as easy as you thought it would be, God loves you.

Maybe you’re in the same boat as me: utterly confused by guy problems. Or maybe you’re doing pretty well right now. Regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in, remember this: God loves you selflessly, unconditionally, eternally, every moment of your life.

And that is beautifully satisfying.

  • When are you tempted to feel overwhelmed? Remember God loves you (John 3:16).
  • How can you better focus on God’s promises than on wondering when Mr. Right will come along? Remember that God is working His plans for you and He isn’t done yet (Philippians 1:6).
  • How can you better practice gratefulness to God for His love, rather than dwelling on the things you want?

Guest Post Written By: Molly Luxeder

PHOTO CREDIT

October 28, 2019 by Guest Blogger

Filed Under: Blog, Relationships Tagged With: Guys, Love, Relationships

To the Girl Who is Discouraged and Losing Heart

woman in dress

Have you felt like a weight has fallen over you? Are you stuck in a place in life where nothing seems to be changing? Where the same thing happens day in and day out and you’re not getting anywhere? Have you prayed and begged God for something and not seen an answer?

Do you feel like you’re being held back, but can’t put a finger on what it is that’s got a hold over you?

Maybe you are a young woman with no friends, in a new city and a new job and every night you go home alone. You long for fellowship and a purpose beyond just working your life away.

Maybe you are someone who is in a good place in life but you beg God to give you someone to love, to marry, to grow old with and to start a family with. But every time you go somewhere and you don’t meet “the one” you come home depressed, brokenhearted and feeling more alone than ever.

Maybe you are newly married and you have a beautiful home but every day your husband leaves for work you’re by yourself for the majority of the day, feeling alone with no kids, no family, no job and nothing left to do but clean and wait to cook dinner for your husband around dinner time.

Maybe you are a mom with kids and a house that needs to be cleaned every single day, you feel unattractive because you don’t have time to take care of yourself while you care for your kids and your days feel monotonous and that your stuck in a never-ending cycle of dishes, laundry, kids arguments, cooking, and cleaning.

You feel like you have no purpose.

Nothing to live for.

Nothing to do.

No way to communicate this to anyone.

From the outside, your life looks perfect. You don’t live in a third world country, hard-pressed by persecution, starvation or a corrupt government. You should be happy by all accounts but you’re not.

I Want To Encourage You To Not Lose Heart! Don’t Let The Devil Have His Way. 

Don’t let him get you down. Jesus is on your side and daily He is fighting the Spiritual battle for your soul. He is waging war on your behalf. Are you showing up to the battle in faith and in confidence that you have seen the Lord move mountains and that He will do it for you again? Or are you sitting in the miry clay with no motivation because you feel stuck?

We have a promise that the Lord “who has begun a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ…” Philippians 1:6.

Since we have this promise we can be assured that God will not leave us where we feel like we’ve been lost. He will not let you stay stuck. He has big plans for your life and He invites you to know that there is a bigger picture than what you are seeing right now.

This trial that you are facing, the loneliness, the depression, the monotony, they are nothing that is too big for Jesus to handle.

Even In Your Loneliness, God Is Working.

Thank goodness that He is the Prince of Peace! Thank goodness that He is the Ultimate Comforter! He is your place of rest when you are weary of trying, He is your shield when the battle of depression is hitting you on all sides! He is there for you if you would only run to Him. Turn to Jesus in your time of desperation.

There is a calling on your life. Jesus has you here for a reason and He will not leave you. You can be confident in that.

“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.” 1 Thes. 5:23-24

I love this verse!

It is such a beautiful promise and encouragement. First, we know and love the God of peace Himself and He will sanctify or set us apart. He makes our WHOLE body, soul and mind blameless, regardless of ANYTHING  that we have done, past, present and future. And He that has called us, is faithful. He will accomplish all things for us.

Confidence Is A Hard Thing To Have In Today’s World. 

Being sure of who we are and what we are is almost inconceivable. How can we trust in anything that we aren’t sure of? How is it that we can make ourselves as beautiful as we possibly can and still feel inadequate? We don’t have 100% confidence in ourselves and that is scary. It contributes so much to how we feel during the day, what we think, what we watch, who we follow on Instagram and Facebook, etc.

When we don’t have confidence then, of course, we are stuck, of course, we are lonely, scared, frustrated and confused. But why would we try to put confidence in ourselves?

We aren’t perfect, we won’t always be successful in everything. We won’t always know just what to do. Our confidence comes from Christ and knowing who He is and who we are IN Him! We are nothing apart from Him.

Our Confidence is, and Always Should Be, In Christ Alone. In His Faithfulness, There Is Confidence. 

Great is His faithfulness to us. When we aren’t faithful to meet Jesus in the morning, He is faithful to love us. When we choose sin over God’s Word, He is faithful to forgive us. When we are pushed and pulled by the pressures of the world, Jesus is faithful to hold us close, to draw us in, to speak to us, to comfort, to pour out His peace over us, to listen to us, to cry with us, to carry us.

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”  Hebrews 4:16 

Jesus will help you in your time of need. Whatever it may be. He can move the mountains. He will be faithful. He will pull you through. Just trust Him. Find Him in His Word, even when you think He’s not there and not speaking, have faith. Keep seeking Him. Keep trusting Him. He loves you.

  • What are some of your mountains?
  • Where have you seen God’s hand of deliverance in your life before?
  • Will you trust Him to do it again?

Get to know the author: 

Lisa Christine is a passionate dreamer, saved and set apart by GRACE. She is the founder of the amazing blog, A Lovely Calling. She lives in the heart of the Rockies with her loving, admirable and quite dashing husband, Dylan. She loves cats, writing, hiking, coffee, dancing in her pj’s, singing, listening to Irish music and film scores, canoeing, rock climbing, cliff jumping and anything to do with the outdoor life as long as she has coffee and her Bible.

PHOTO CREDIT

October 25, 2019 by Guest Blogger

Filed Under: Blog, Faith, Femininity Tagged With: Encouragement, Purpose

Should Christians Do Anything For Halloween?

Kristen and Bethany

Christians all over the world have chosen to respond to this holiday in a variety of ways.

Some Celebrate it to its fullest! Some acknowledge the pagan origins and choose to avoid it altogether.  Some stay away from death, demons, & darkness, and only participate in the more innocent parts. Others opt for Fall Festivals and other activities.

No matter where you fall on the spectrum, it’s important to think through this Holiday and make a wise, informed, and biblical decision.

October 23, 2019 by Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal

Filed Under: Videos Tagged With: Culture, Discernment, Holidays

« Previous Page
Next Page »

NEW BOOK!

Our newest book, "Made to Be She: Reclaiming God’s Plan for Fearless Femininity" is available now!

Learn More

Before Footer

Footer

Learn More

  • About
  • Speaking
  • Contact
  • Donate
  • Donor’s Login
  • Courses
  • Books
  • Conference
  • Shop
  • Podcast
31 days of proverbs
JOIN THE SISTERHOOD

GET OUR FREE PROVERBS DEVOTIONAL BY SIGNING UP TODAY. PLUS, STAY IN THE LOOP AND RECEIVE WEEKLY ENCOURAGEMENT FROM KRISTEN AND BETHANY.

© 2025 Girl Defined 2021 . All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy. Website built by Five Q.