Becoming a Girl of God-Worship Instead of Self-Worship

Becoming a Girl of God-Worship Instead of Self-Worship

Jennifer’s tears rolled down her cheeks as she struggled to express her thoughts.

“I just don’t feel like God sees me or cares about me. He’s never answered a single one of my prayers and I never see Him working in my life. I don’t have many friends, my parents don’t give me the time of day, and my health is awful. I just can’t see any reason to live for God or praise Him. I honestly think He has forgotten about me.”

The tears continued to fall and Jennifer seemed to be growing more depressed and discouraged as she thought about her life. From her perspective, life was awful.

She felt alone, neglected and completely forgotten by God.

Jennifer and I continued to talk through her struggles and it soon became very evident (to both of us) that Jennifer’s entire life revolved around herself. She had elevated her wants, needs, desires, and emotions to the center of her life and the focus of her worship.

Jennifer recognized the sin of idolatry (self-worship instead of God-worship) taking root in her heart and was willing to make changes in her life.

Over the next few weeks, Jennifer went from being a girl who was miserable and sad, to a girl who had a joyful outlook on life. Jennifer applied two simple truths to her life and they radically changed her heart and attitude.

Her life stopped revolving around herself and started revolving around Jesus.

Instead of crying buckets of tears about how forgotten she felt, she praised God for the ultimate sacrifice Christ made and rejoiced in His overwhelming love.

Worship. That’s what Jennifer changed and it changed her life.

Before I dig into the two simple truths Jennifer applied, I want to see if you can relate (in a big or small way) to her story.

  • Do you often find yourself wallowing in a puddle of self-pity?
  • Do tend to focus on what you don’t have rather than what you do have?
  • Do you feel like God has forgotten you?
  • Do you wonder why your life is so awful compared to those around you?
  • Do you often find that you, yourself, and more of you are the center of your focus?

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, I think the simple truths Jennifer applied will be just what you need too. We all need them. I really encourage you to think through these truths carefully. Don’t brush past them and move on with your day. These can have the power to transform.

1. Give thanks for Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross.

I once heard someone say, “even if you never receive another earthly blessing again, Christ’s death and resurrection are enough to keep you praising Him for the rest of your life.” Wow! That is so true. As Christians, we have been given the greatest and the most priceless gift of all. We have been given new life and eternity with Christ in Heaven…forever. We have been adopted as sons and daughters to a royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9).

No matter what happens (or doesn’t happen) in your life, make gratitude to God a daily habit in your day. Praise God for His gift of Christ and thank Him for saving you from an eternity separated from Him. Focus on the magnitude of how Christ changed your life and just praise Him for saving you.

2. Get your eyes on someone else.

One of the best cures for self-focus and self-worship is to focus on serving others. Take your eyes off of your life, your problems, your wants, your needs and begin focusing on someone else. Choose to give to others by being a listening ear, a comforting friend, send a kind note, volunteer with the toddlers at church, pray for those around you, or, get involved with a pro-life organization. Just do something that takes your eyes off of you and gets them onto someone else.

I challenge you to take action and apply those two simple truths.

Take a moment right now to thank God for sending His son, Jesus, and His ultimate sacrifice for you. Thank Him for the way Jesus radically changed your future and gave you a new life.

Now, pick someone to serve. Take a moment to think of one person you can serve today. Did you think of someone? What are you going to do for them? How will you show Christ’s love towards them?

I would love to hear how you applied these two simple truths. Share your thoughts and ideas with me in the comments section below!

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5 Lies Girls Believe About Singleness and Dating

Lies about guys. Lies about singleness. Lies about dating. We’ve all been there. We’ve all had that moment or season where we’ve looked to something other than God to bring us satisfaction. In the end, it never works. It never satisfies.

Instead of staying stuck in the lies, stuck in the trap, and stuck chasing after the wind, we need to get back to truth.

Let’s open up God’s Word and combat 5 of the most popular lies that girls believe about singleness and dating.

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3 Truths to Remember When Life is Hard

Life often feels like a long string of waiting.

Waiting for change. Waiting for a breakthrough. For healing. A boyfriend. A husband. Waiting for God to be faithful and trying to believe He still is. Waiting for the day when pain doesn’t greet you first thing in the morning and stay with until you go to sleep. Waiting out the ache of a broken heart, hoping that “one day it has to heal, right?”

I’m in a season of waiting right now.

I’m waiting for God to answer prayers I’ve prayed for years. Trying to fully live my single years, instead of looking at my very single status with despair.

This waiting can be overwhelming and discouraging. It can be hard to look at our prayer list and see that it’s longer than our praise list. We want the breakthrough. The change, the healing, the husband, and the pretty bow at the end of the story.

It’s hard to not have that. To instead have a bunch of prayers, tears, and questions of “why, God?” It’s so easy to question God in that moment, to doubt His goodness, and wonder at His promises. Are they true or aren’t they? If they are, why is (blank) happening? Why won’t He fix it?

I don’t have all the answers. But I do want to encourage you, if you’re in a season of waiting, to remember…

1. God Does Not Lie

It’s hard to believe God’s promises are actually true when they’re the last thing we see in the moment.

God, Your Word promises healing . . . where is it?

God, Your Word promises protection . . . why didn’t You protect us?

God, Your Word promises good things for Your children . . . why does everything in my life seem bad?

I can’t tell you why things don’t always turn out the way we think they should, except that God’s ways are higher than ours. His promises are deeper and more multi-faceted than “problem + promise = immediate solution.”

But I can tell you that God does not lie to His children. He doesn’t string us along with a bunch of promises He has no intention of fulfilling or give us false hope. Numbers 23:19 says, “God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?”

The answer is yes.

He will make it good.

I don’t know when, or how, or if it’ll look the way we think it should, but if He said it, He will do it.

The enemy’s first tactic is to get us to doubt the validity of God’s words. Think of what Satan asked Eve. “Has God indeed said . . . ?” (Genesis 3:1)

The enemy always lies to us. And because he’s a liar, he tries to make us believe God is too.

But God does not lie to His children. “Every word of God proves true; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.” (Proverbs 30:5)

2. Not a Word of What He Says Will Fail

Not only does God not lie, but He sticks to His promises like glue.

One of my favorite verses is Joshua 21:45 which says, “Not a word failed of any good thing which the LORD had spoken to the house of Israel. All came to pass.”

If you think about the context of the story of the Israelites, that’s some statement. Most of these promises would have been made while they were still slaves in Egypt, or during the forty years wandering around the desert. They didn’t just have to wait a few days or weeks or even months. They waited over forty years for this statement to be true that “not a word failed.”

I haven’t waited for forty years. I haven’t even been alive for forty years. But I still find myself doubting “all will come to pass.” But then, is my faith in the outcome? Or is my faith in the God who controls the outcome?

I don’t know if God has promised a husband or healing in this life. I can’t point to this verse and declare that God has promised me a wonderful marriage, adorable kids, a picture-perfect house, and a six-figure income. It doesn’t work that way because not one of those things has been promised to me in His Word.

But I can point to this verse and declare that God has promised to never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5, 6). He has promised me peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:6, 7). He has promised to strengthen me as I wait upon Him (Isaiah 40:28-31). He has promised salvation for all who call upon His name (Romans 10:8-13). He has promised that nothing on earth will ever be able to separate me from His unfailing love (Romans 8:38, 39).

I can be sure these promises are true. Because not a word will fail of any good thing which He has said. And I don’t know about you, but to me, these promises are infinitely more precious than the promise of a husband, career, or even a life without struggles. I would rather have Jesus always beside me.

3. God is I AM, His Promises are I Will

Several months ago, while praying, I felt a strange nudge in my heart to read Jeremiah 31. I knew I’d probably read it before, but I’d long forgotten what it was about. I read it through once. Nothing popped out. Okay, God, that was a strange, random thing for me to read, I thought.

That same nudge. Read it again.

I read it again. Nothing. Read it again.

I read it through once more. This time, I noticed something. A truth so powerful it took my breath away.

Everything in this chapter is about what God is promising to do for Israel. He’s saying He’ll save a remnant, even though they’d gone through lots of hard stuff and been unfaithful to Him. Everything is about what God will do. It’s all future tense.

Except for two things: “I have loved you” (Jeremiah 31:3) and “I am a Father” (Jeremiah 31:9).

God is I AM. His promises are I will.

Throughout the Bible, God repeatedly says He is, “I AM.” (Exodus 3:14) He says “I am with you” and “I am your God” and “I am the LORD.” He’s reminding us of His character.

Jesus Himself said He was “I AM.” (John 8:58) He also said, “I am the bread of life . . .” (John 6:35), “I am the light of the world . . .” (John 8:12), and “I am the good shepherd . . .” (John 10:11).

These are the things that God is. He is good, His love is strong, He is light and there is no darkness in Him. (1 John 1:5) Because He is I AM we can trust Him.

It comes down to this question: do we trust the I AM character of God enough to believe His I willpromises—even when we don’t see them?

I know it’s not easy. Trust is hard. But, oh, the One we trust is good.

Sweet sister, if you’re battling lies that God is not good or His promises not true . . . if you’re worn down and weary with the waiting . . . if you’re desperate for a glimpse of hope . . . look up. Lift your head and focus not on the obstacles, or the desperate situation, or even the cure you crave. Focus on Jesus.

In Isaiah 55:11, God tells us, “So shall my word be that goes forth from My mouth: It shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”

That’s our hope.

Look to Jesus. He will fulfill His Word.

And He is good.

I’d love to hear from you!

-Do you feel like you’re in a season of waiting right now?

-Which point is most encouraging?

-Which promise can you pull out and cling to today?

Bio: Sara Barratt is a 19-year-old writer, avid reader, chocolate lover, and lead editor for TheRebelution. Her first book, Love Riot: A Teenage Call to Live with Relentless Abandon for Christreleases May 2020 from Baker Books. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and her website sarabarratt.com.

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How to Deal with Your Heartache After a Breakup

I think the hardest part of a breakup is the mornings that follow it. The nights are hard too, but the mornings, I think that’s when the pain is the rawest. When you’ve spent the past 6-8 hours (or 5 if you’re anything like me) sleeping in a blissful state of ignorance, and then you wake up and for the first few seconds everything is fine. And then your brain wakes up and reality comes in, and it hits you hard.

Another day of trying to make it through. Another day of trying to move on.

I’m writing to you because I’m currently going through a breakup.

It’s been a little over a month and oh how I would love to say that I’m doing completely fine and that I’ve moved past it, but that wouldn’t be true. I’m doing a lot better though that’s the truth. I’ve had good days. I feel joy, peace, comfort, and laughter. I don’t feel as sad or wake up feeling nearly as bad as I used to. But, in general, this kind of pain is one that lingers, it’s hard to completely shake it off.

I’m not sure when it will end, but I have faith that one day I won’t feel this pain as deeply or as often. I’m writing this post because I want to give you tips on how to deal with a breakup. I’m not writing because I’ve mastered getting through this breakup thing, but because I haven’t! I understand your pain because I’m right there living it with you.

So here’s what’s been helping me lately:

1. Keep yourself busy!

This might seem like an obvious one but it’s so important. When you spend your evenings scrolling through old text messages and sulking in how things used to be and running through a million “what-if” scenarios, you’re going to drain yourself.

Now, I don’t mean that you should suppress your feelings- you need to give yourself the time to grieve and mourn over what truly is a loss. But once you’ve done that, you can’t live every minute of your day sitting in those feelings. Pour your energy into serving God and His people and you won’t have time to be sad.

“Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what is ahead. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 3:13-15 

“If God wants to restore that relationship He will. If not, look forward to the fact that He wants to replace that relationship and He will.” – GodlyDating101

You’ve got to distract yourself so you don’t wallow in self-pity.

The Lord wants to use this situation to grow spiritual fruits in your life; the devil wants to use this to make you focus only on the negatives, so your mind becomes filled with so much frustration, sadness, and confusion that you can’t focus on God. So, distract yourself with things that are good for your soul.

See this as an opportunity to spend more time in God’s word, build new friendships with people, surround yourself with a good community, exercise, volunteer at church, something that will benefit you/others.

Another good rule of thumb: When a sad thought comes up, tell yourself you’re not going to deal with it at that moment by setting aside 15 minutes at the end of the day where you will think about. Usually, by the time that rolls around, you’re not even thinking about it anymore.

2. Be mindful of what you listen to.

The hardest days of my breakup have been the days when I fill my ears with break up music. Sometimes it feels good to jam out to Taylor Swift songs, but remember that the more you listen to songs that are focused on trying to tear down and degrade the ex-boyfriend (or even yourself and your mistakes!), the more bitterness that is going to form inside your heart towards that person/situation.

It’s going to be a lot harder to treat that person with kindness and have a positive day when you’re listening to this kind of music.  Challenge yourself in the moments when you feel like listening to those songs, to turn worship music on instead and see if it changes your day around.

3. Honor God in your interactions.

Whether you bump into each other, or you’re simply in the same room together, remember to do what is pleasing to God. I’m really struggling with this one because it’s so tempting to want to put on a façade that you’ve moved on and don’t care about the other person, but is this really showing the love of Christ?

When you’re around the other person and you’re tempted to try and make them jealous or get their attention; stop and pray about it. Is this building that person up or bringing them down? Am I trying to please my own desires or God’s desires?

Is this honoring God or is this just me trying to make myself look better?

Also be mindful that if you ended the relationship, you’ve most likely caused some wounds within that person.

Watch what you post on social media, what you say about them, etc. because you don’t want to inflict more pain onto an already hurting soul. You might not be able to undo the pain, but you can definitely cause more if you don’t filter your words and actions through the Spirit.

4. What can you learn?

Whether you ended the relationship or not, there is always a lesson to be learned. A relationship is two people, and you can’t put the blame all on one person. In order to give that person grace, you’ve got to own your part in the situation too. It’s a lot harder to forgive that person unless you can see what you could have done differently too.

Also, remember that yes this is a relationship that ended, but it does not mean that you are a failure.

God’s biggest work often times comes through our most trying circumstances.

Lastly, remember that you are human and that if you were completely fine right after a breakup, you wouldn’t be normal! You’ve got to give yourself the grace to be okay with not being okay.

Let’s Talk About It! 

  • What did you learn from this relationship that can help you improve your future relationship?
  • How can you show kindness to that person the next time you see them?
  • Whenever you’re around them try and imagine that their future spouse is in the room as well. Does that change how you act?

If you haven’t read Love Defined: Embracing God’s Vision for Lasting Love and Satisfying Relationships, you should definitely check it out! 

*Guest Post Written By Robin Young. Originally published on the Girl Defined blog in May of 2017. 

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How Important is Attraction in a Romantic Relationship?

Most single women will immediately judge a guy based on his outward appearance. Is he cute? Am I attracted to him? Is he hot?! These are often the first questions we ask ourselves. We’re immediately interested in really good looking guys and less interested in guys that don’t fit our “physical criteria.” We’re slow to take interest in an average looking guy, even if he has a great personality and godly character. 

Yes, being attracted to your future spouse is an important factor, but how important should it be? 

What’s the balance? Is attraction really as crucial as we make it out to be? What should we, as Christian girls, value the most in our future husband?

Think about your life 5, 10, and even 20 years down the road. What kind of qualities will you want in a husband and father then? 

In today’s vlog, let’s dig into this topic and figure out how to have a healthy, Biblical, and Christ-centered balance when it comes to how we prioritize physical attraction in our romantic relationships.

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What it Takes to THRIVE as a Single Girl

Looking back on the many Valentine’s Days I spent “alone”, there is one specific day that stands out to me more than others.

I was single (as I was for much of the first 30 years of my life) and I was headed to the grocery store to pick up my favorite drugstore mascara.

I pulled into to the parking lot and headed into the store. Little did I know that I was about to wade through a sea of starry-eyed men who appeared to be floating on clouds of roses and dark chocolate covered strawberries.

In days past, this kind of scenario would have been heart-wrenching.

I would have been sad and depressed over my extreme lack of a boyfriend. I would have worried about the potential of becoming an old maid forever and ever. I probably would have purchased a massive bar of dark chocolate just to ease the pain of my total and complete aloneness.

But, not that day!

That day was different. My singleness was no longer a season to trudge through, but a season filled with purpose and excitement. Thanks to the amazing work of Christ in my life, I was thriving as a single woman.

I clearly remember walking through that grocery store, wading through the roses and chocolate candies, grabbing my mascara, and leaving the store without a single tear in my eye.

I didn’t feel sorry for myself.

I didn’t feel sad. I didn’t feel jealous. I didn’t even feel upset or angry at God. I was fully confident that God had a good plan for my life and my singleness and I was thriving as a result.

If you are currently in a season of singleness, I want you to know that I understand. I’ve been there. As a woman who was unmarried for longer than I’d ever imagined I’d be, I get what’s it’s like to spend years and years of Valentine’s Days boyfriendless and alone.

I feel you, sister.

It’s not always easy. It’s not always fun. It can be hard. I know that from personal experience.

In fact, I wrote two full chapters specifically for single gals in my book, Love Defined. You can read chapters 8 and 9 to get a more in-depth perspective on how to thrive as a single woman.

Despite how difficult being the single years can be, I want to share with you 5 strategies that have helped me thrive in that season.

To get a more in-depth look at these five strategies, grab a copy of Love Defined and turn to chapter 9. I unpack each of these strategies in more detail in the book.

Five Strategies for Thriving as a Single Girl

1. Live all out for Christ.

Instead of wasting your single years away, waiting for Mr. Right to come knocking on your door, choose to live all out for Christ. There is so much work that needs to be done for God’s Kingdom. Matthew 9:37 says, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.” Choose to be one of the few who are willing to live all out for Christ right here, right now, in the exact season God has you in.

Don’t believe the lie that your life will really begin once you are married. Your life is happening right now and God has a great purpose for you. Choose to begin living a purposeful and Christ-centered life as a single woman.’

2. Intentionally grow in godliness.

We live in an amazing day and age where wisdom is just a click away. Most of us have access to the internet and can listen to sermons, podcasts, and read blog posts from some of the godliest people alive. Let’s choose to take advantage of this unique season of singleness and grow in godliness.

I say in Love Defined, “My car is one of my favorite places to learn and grow. Whenever I get in my car, I intentionally choose to listen to an audiobook or podcast. This time has been a huge part of my spiritual maturation. I encourage you to utilize your time to grow in godliness. Find something that works for you. It might be in your car, during your exercises, as you’re getting ready in the morning, or something else.”

The goal is to get active in growing in godliness. You can begin that process right now.

3. Look for opportunities to serve.

Service is definitely a key strategy for thriving as a single woman. -Love Defined

I’ve noticed that I am happiest when I’m serving. When my eyes are off of my needs, my problems, my wants, my desires, and onto other people, I’m so much more happy. I am challenging you to begin (or continue if you already are) looking for opportunities to serve. Your family and your church are awesome places to start.

I would encourage you to check with your church and see what some of the biggest needs are. Remember, service opportunities often don’t come knocking on the door, you have to go after them. Get in contact with leaders of certain ministries within your church and offer yourself to be of service. This will be a key factor to help you thrive during this season 

4. Embrace the unique aspects of this season.

Singleness brings with it some very unique aspects to the season. Because most single women do not have the responsibilities of a husband, children and everything that comes along with a direct family, we often have more flexibility. We can leave town more easily, go on missions trips more easily, and invest our time into discipling others more easily.

For example, my younger sister Ellissa spent several weeks serving in a Chinese orphanage this past summer. Because she is single, she was able to invest much of her summer doing what would be very difficult for a young married woman/mother to do. Ellissa is totally taking advantage of her singleness and using it for God’s glory rather than selfish gain. I encourage you to follow her example and do the same. It doesn’t have to be overseas missions, just be strategic in using your time for God’s glory.

5. Expand your community beyond only singles.

Instead of restricting your community and friends to strictly singles, try mixing it up a bit. Spend time investing in those younger than yourself. Hang out with your grandparents or the elderly couples in your church. Get to know the families with young kids. Glean wisdom from couples who have been married for several decades. Get outside of your normal friend groups and experience the benefits offered by those in different seasons.

If you’re willing to expand your community beyond only singles, you will mature and grow in ways you wouldn’t have before. Expanding your community will truly help you thrive as a single woman.

Thriving as a single is totally possible!

If you seriously want to thrive in and through these years, you need to get serious about implementing those five strategies. I encourage you to dig deeper by grabbing a copy of, Love Defined, and reading the complete chapter.

Let’s hear from you now!

List one way you can apply each of the five strategies right now.

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