7 Life-Giving Truths for Overcoming Worry and Fear

7 Life-Giving Truths for Overcoming Worry and Fear

As a single girl (before I married Zack) I had so many fears and worries running through my head. “What if I never get married?!” “What if no guy ever likes me?!” “What if don’t get married until I’m 40?!”

Fear. Worry. Lack of trust.

All of my worries were completely in vain too, because 3 years later Zack (my now amazing husband), asked me to be his wife. Since I was no longer worried about “getting married,” I figured I was in the clear of my worry and fear issues. Not even close.

Little did I know how much hard work and money it took to plan a wedding (much less a really large wedding).

My wedding budget was squeezed on every side and at some points, I just didn’t see how God would provide for our needs.

I remember crying one night and asking God things like, “was it a mistake to invite so many people to my wedding?” “How are we going to afford to feed all of these people?” “How can we possibly afford a photographer?!”

Fear. Worry. Lack of trust.

In the end, I got married and watched God miraculously provide for all of our wedding needs and desires. All of my worries were completely in vain.

Since I was now happily married and no longer worried about “planning a wedding,” I figured I was in the clear of my worry issues. Hmmm…not quite.

My picturesque vision of becoming a mom within the first two years of getting married slowly vanished.

After three years of marriage, I had nothing to show except two challenging miscarriages and a house distinctly void of children’s laughter. I struggled in my heart and asked God questions like, “Why did you take those babies from me?” “Why can’t I get pregnant like normal women?” “What if I’m never able to have kids?”

Fear. Worry. Lack of trust.

Now fast forward to today. Zack and I recently celebrated 8 years of marriage, and God still hasn’t given us a child, but He has given me a new perspective. God has opened my eyes to how weak my faith has been. He has shown me that my worries and fears of “not having a baby” have done me no good.

In fact, all of my worrying and fretting has never done me any good.

Over this past year, God has been doing a big work in my heart. He has been teaching me, through his Word, that trusting in His plan and patiently waiting on His timing is far more powerful than worrying. I have experienced the freedom of surrender. I have experienced the joy of trusting God. I’m not perfect at it, but I’ve come a long way. And by surrendering my will and trusting in God, I have found immense peace.

Like me, I’m sure there are things going on in your life right now that aren’t easy. I’m sure there are tough circumstances, people problems, and issues that you’re tempted to worry and fear about right now.

If so, I know you’ll find the follow list of truths extremely helpful and encouraging.

Worry and fear don’t have to get the upper hand. Thanks be to Jesus, peace and hope can truly reign in your heart…regardless of what you’re facing today. I want to share with you 7 biblical reasons you don’t have to worry. I discovered these 7 truths and verses while reading the notes in my NASB Study Bible.

1. The same God who created you can be trusted with the details of your life.

Matthew 6:25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”

2. Worrying about the future hinders your life for today.

Matthew 6:26 “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”

3. Worrying is more harmful than helpful.

Matthew 6:27 “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?”

4. God does not ignore those who depend on Him.

Matthew 6:28-30 “And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?”

5. God sees your every need and will provide for you according to His good plan. 

Matthew 6:31-32 “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.”

6. We are called to build God’s Kingdom and worrying distracts us from this mission. 

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

7. Living wholeheartedly today keeps us from being consumed with worry about tomorrow.

Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

I pray that these 7 powerful truths from Scripture have brought hope and encouragement to your heart like they have mine. The hard trials in our life are great opportunities for us to grow in our trust in God. He loves us and will not abandon us. He is with us every day, every moment, and every second.

The more we fill our mind with God’s truth, the easier it will be to combat lies and worry.

If you’re struggling with fear and worry right now, I encourage you to print off those 7 reasons (along with their verses) and read them every day. God’s Word has the power to transform your perspective and give you hope and peace today. 

Sister, I’d love to hear from you below! 

  • In what ways are you struggling to trust God today? What tempts you to worry?
  • Which of the numbers from above did you find most helpful?

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Getting to the Heart of a Guy Obsession – Part Two

If you missed Part One of this post, you’re definitely going to want to click here and read it before reading Part Two. Kari unpacked several lies and truths about what is truly at the heart of a guy obsession. Part Two builds on that foundation, so take a quick moment to read Part One. You won’t regret it!

We, as single people, must broaden our view of how God builds his kingdom. I have found that many women (including myself) who overestimate the importance of marriage tend to underestimate the value of competence and hard work. Here’s what I mean. God has uniquely gifted each of us to serve the church and love our neighbor (1 Corinthians 4:12:4-7, Ephesians 2:10). Getting competent at our gifts will help us serve and love more effectively.

So, we should get good at what we’re good at.

Leadership, financial savvy and generosity, courage, hospitality, organization, people skills, teaching, wisdom, persuasion, success in the workplace, and skilled craftsmanship are all gifts we see women utilizing for God’s glory throughout scripture (Judges 4:4-10, 17-21, 1 Samuel 25: 32-33, Proverbs 31:10-31, Acts 16:14-16, Acts 18:26, Romans 16:1-2). Marriage and children are absolutely one way that God grows his kingdom, but they are not the only way. Understanding that God also builds his kingdom through industriousness will keep single women from wasting time obsessing over finding a husband and instead, help them get to work.

Low View of God

Lastly, underlying our absorption with guys is a low view of God. When I was 25, I started dating a guy who was a good friend of mine. Things got serious, and eight months into dating he proposed and I said yes. Long story short, we had a lot of conflict during our engagement. I hoped it would get better and we sought help, but things didn’t improve. Three weeks before what was supposed to be our wedding day, I realized that things weren’t changing. We postponed the wedding, and in the end we broke up. It was so painful. I felt like God was dangling one of my dreams in front of me and then snatched it away at the last minute.

During that time, I struggled to trust the Lord with my desire for marriage. Calling off an engagement at 26 felt like a one-way ticket to Spinsterville. I doubted God’s sovereignty, wisdom, and goodness. I was asking questions like: Is God really going to work this out? Could I really trust God’s wisdom and walk away from a relationship that I thought would end in marriage? Did God really have good in store for me?

In my pain and disappointment, I sought the Lord.

He showed me that I had a clenched fist around marriage and a loose grip on him. I was somewhat aware of my over-desire for marriage in my teen and college years, but now that a tangible marriage possibility was slipping through my fingers, I had to come face to face with my idolatry.

“I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgression to the Lord,’ and you forgave the iniquity of my sin” (Psalm 32:5).

As I confessed my sin to the Lord, he healed my heart. Not only did the Lord forgive me, he helped me cling to him instead of marriage, or a career, or anything else. I still desire to get married, but that desire is overshadowed by a desire for God.

I began to trust that God is sovereign and can provide a husband for me whenever he wants to. The Bible says that God calls stars by name, knows every bird on the mountains, watches over deer and mountain goats giving birth, doesn’t let a single bird fall from the sky unless he wants them to, orchestrates all things for his people’s good, and sits in the heavens and does whatever he pleases (Isaiah 40:26, Psalm 50:11, Matthew 10:29, Job 39:1-3, Romans 8:28, Psalm 115:3).

I also began to trust that God is wise and knows exactly what he is doing with my marital status.

He is the one who laid the foundations of the earth, not me. His ways are not my ways, his thoughts are not my thoughts, and there are secret things that belong only to him (Job 38:4, Isaiah 55:8, Deuteronomy 29:29).

I also realized, and am still learning, that God really is good and that whatever he gives me is in fact nourishment and not poison. He is the one who satisfies the longing soul and fills the hungry soul with good things. He is a good father who gives good things to his children. In His presence is fullness of joy. He is good to all and his mercy is over all that he has made (Psalm 107:9, Psalm 16:11, Matthew 7:9-11, Psalm 145:8).

Devoted to Christ

Instead of being obsessed with guys, women who follow the Lord are called to something much bigger. We are called to devote ourselves to Christ and expand his kingdom, whether single or married.

In Christ, we desire God’s glory above our own. In Christ, we become spiritual mothers, making and nurturing disciples. In Christ, we do full-hearted work unto the Lord for the good of our neighbor. And in Christ, we see the God who did not withhold his own Son from us, and place our trust in him.

This guest post series was written by Kari Kurz who is an amazing woman of God, writer, and personal friend of GirlDefined. We encourage you to follower her personal blog over at PorchandDove.com.

To dig even deeper into the topic of love, relationships, and guys, grab a copy of our book, Love Defined: Embracing God’s Vision for Lasting Love and Satisfying Relationships. 

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Getting to the Heart of a Guy Obsession – Part One

I was once obsessed with a guy. I stalked him on social media. I stalked his family on social media. I purposely went places where I knew I would be around him, and whenever I was around him I made sure I was in his line of sight. The thing was, it seemed to be working! He always made a point to talk to me and was so kind to me. I really thought he was as interested in me as I was in him, only to realize he was being nice to me so he could get close to a friend of mine and ask her out!

This is one of many stories I could tell about how absorbed I was with guys in my younger years.

For a lot of young girls, boys are the most prominent thing occupying their mind and heart. Many single women who desire to get married know this struggle well. Some wear this habit on their sleeves, but many girls secretly obsess over guys without even their closest friends knowing. But even if our hearts stay under other people’s radar, they are never under God’s. He sees our hearts. Do we?

When we expose our preoccupation with guys to the light of God’s word, we start to see what’s really going on under the surface. A biblical perspective shows us at least three things at the heart of our guy obsession: sinful desire, an inflated view of marriage and a deflated view singleness, and a low view of God.

Sinful Desire

If girls are honest, we obsess over guys because we want their attention. There is something about the attention of a guy that makes a girl feel she has worth. I recognized this at a young age and tried to stop relying on guys for worth by believing that God deemed me worthy. Therefore, I didn’t need a boy. But this was the wrong approach altogether. The message of the Bible is not that I’m worthy, but that God is worthy. When we seek attention from boys to feel good about ourselves, we are not only seeking the wrong thing but have wrong motives. We were not created to draw attention to ourselves or be enamored by our own worth, but to draw attention to God and be enthralled with his. And if we look at scripture, we see that this bent toward self-glory is actually the very root of sin.

We see in Genesis that sin begins with wanting to be like God in a way that God didn’t intend. God said he made man “in his image” (Genesis 1:27). Adam and Eve were already like God in the way that God created them to be. But Satan proposed to them that they could be like God in a different way (Genesis 3:5).

Adam and Eve fell for the lie that they could grasp attributes that are only true of God: supreme glory and centrality.

When Adam and Eve chose to pursue their own glory over God’s, all of humanity’s relationship with God was broken (Romans 5:12). Instead of living for the glory of God, we now live for our own. We use a thousand ways to do this, and for many girls, seeking the attention of boys is one of them. A girl’s fixation on a guy is often based completely on a self-centered fantasy and springs up before a girl truly knows a guy or his heart. It’s not grounded on biblical love or even genuine interest in the other person, but on self-serving motives.

If we are ever going to be free from our obsession with boys, we must recognize that guy-obsession is really self-obsession.

For those who trust in the death of Christ for salvation, we have been rescued from sin and given a new heart with new desires – a heart that desires God again (Ezekiel 36:26-27). It is only because of Christ’s death and resurrection that we can be free from the sinful desires that once enslaved us. We must start with the gospel when talking about guy obsession, because it’s a matter of our hearts being freed from sin. Giving tips on how to not think about boys will do no good to a girl whose heart is still dead in sin, unable to desire God’s glory above her own.

But if we do have a new heart, we are able to walk in God’s commands. We are actually capable of genuinely loving God and loving people. Rather than seeking our own glory, we seek God’s. Instead of focusing on being loved by others, we are free to love others, including the guys we have crushes on. Instead of going into a situation scheming about how to elicit the attention of a boy, we can go in thinking, “How can I love and serve people while I’m here?” and “How can I love this guy as a brother in Christ?”

Inflated View of Marriage and Deflated View of Singleness

Another thing at the root of guy obsession is having an inflated view of marriage and a deflated view of singleness. I have desired to get married for as long as I can remember. Because of that strong desire, I attached my purpose in life to getting married without really even realizing it. Then came the summer after I graduated from college. I was in many of my friends’ weddings that May. Meanwhile, I was in the middle of breaking up with a guy. Here I was, with little of hope of getting married anytime soon, witnessing everyone else’s wedded bliss. I had a choice. I could either fall into despair or get a better perspective.

By God’s grace, I started studying scripture and what it says about marriage, singleness, and God’s purpose for both. I had read and understood early on that God created marriage to reflect his relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:31-32), but hadn’t worked out what that meant practically for me. I began to understand that if marriage was created to reflect what God is doing in the story of redemption, then God’s story of redemption is the priority, not marriage.

The love story we are all living in is one where God pursues his bride – the church – with self-sacrificial love and wins her heart completely in the end (Revelation 21:1-4).

The Bible also tells us that there is no marriage in heaven (Matthew 22:30). There will be no need for it, because the thing marriage was pointing to all along will have arrived: God and his people together forever.

I also started getting a biblical perspective on singleness. I found a sermon by John Piper[1] that helped me understand Isaiah 54:1, which says:

“‘Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,’ says the Lord.”

How is a barren, unmarried woman going to bear more children than a fertile, married woman? The chapter right before helps us understand. Isaiah 53 is a prophecy about Christ’s death on the cross. Amidst this powerful passage about Christ bearing our sin and sorrows, scripture says this about Christ: “when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring” (Isaiah 53:10). His offspring? What offspring? Christ was single and never married. But when Christ came, this is what he told Nicodemus: “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3, emphasis added). Peter tells us that God “has caused us to be born again to a living hope” (1 Peter 1:3, emphasis added).

God’s family is not grown by physical birth but by hearts reborn through the Spirit of God.

Therefore, single people have a major role to play in adding people to God’s family. They may not have physical children that share their blood, but they can tell others about the blood of Jesus and bring them into an eternal family.

This concludes Part One of this Two-Part series on guy obsessions. Come back on Monday for Part Two! You don’t want to miss it.

This guest post series was written by Kari Kurz who is an amazing woman of God, writer, and personal friend of GirlDefined. We encourage you to follower her personal blog over at PorchandDove.com. 

To dig even deeper into the topic of love, relationships, and guys, grab a copy of our book, Love Defined: Embracing God’s Vision for Lasting Love and Satisfying Relationships. 

[1]John Piper. “Single in Christ.”  27 Apr 2007. Sermon.

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How to Stop Worrying About What People Think of You

Everyone has an opinion about everyone else, right?

We give each other labels, call each other names, and put each other in certain categories depending on what we think of that person.

It can be so easy to get caught up in the trap of WORRYING about what everyone says. Worrying about what they think of us… worrying about what they might tell someone else about us… worrying if they don’t think we’re good enough or pretty enough. The list is endless. 

Instead of staying trapped in the fear of what others might think of us, let’s find freedom!

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5 Verses about God to Bring You Hope

Several years ago I came across a verse in the Bible that slowly become my life verse. From my highschool days, to my first relationship days, to my breakups, and now to my marriage, these verses were/are my go to. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

These verses were a HUGE comfort and reminded me that God would make my paths straight. He had the plan.

I just needed to trust Him completely. 

After sharing those verses with friends and on social media, I soon realized that those verses didn’t do the same thing for everyone I shared them with. The questions were raised, “who is this God that I am trusting my life with? Is He good? Can He even be trusted?” Those were/are incredible and legitimate questions. 

If I did not know God, I would not want to put my trust in Him either. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 would be a fearful challenge rather than a hope-giving one. Who would want to entrust their entire life to a god that they did not know? 

My hope is that we can get to know the God of the Bible. 

Here are 5 verses that I think do a marvelous job of showing us who God is. He has revealed Himself to us in the Bible. Understanding who our God is will bring so much peace, comfort and hope as we continue living in this broken world. 

5 Verses about God to Bring You Hope 

1. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1). 

What better place to start than at the very beginning of the Bible. I love this simple verse. When there was nothing, God was. When the earth was formless and void, God was. When humankind did not exist, God did. He is the reason this world exists. He is the start of everything. If you have not read Genesis 1 & 2 lately, I encourage you to go and read it. Those chapters are a wonderful picture of the start of everything. 

2. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end (Revelation 22:13. 

If we zoom ahead to the very last book in the Bible, we see God. Described as the Alpha and the Omega (He was at the beginning of all things and will be at the close), the first and the last, the beginning and the end. Who else can make such a claim? He was and is and is to come. He is at the start of our world and He will be at the end (when He makes all things new). There truly is no other god who can make that claim. 

3. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—(Ephesians 2:4-5). 

What a beautiful glimpse into God’s unchanging character. He is full of mercy. He is great in love towards us. Even while we were against Him, He sent His Son Jesus to the cross to die for our sins. By His grace we are saved. We are no longer slaves to our sin, we are free by the power of the cross. What a mighty God we serve. 

4. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God (John 1:12). 

We don’t have a God who is waiting to pounce on us with every wrong move that we make. The God of the Bible is rich in mercy and literally made a way so that we could become His child. Through belief in His perfect Son Jesus we have the right to become God’s child and to be adopted into His family. We get to have a personal relationship with Him for all of eternity. 

5. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. (Psalm 139:7-12)

God is everywhere. He is not limited by anything or anyone. We serve such a big, powerful, awesome and mighty God. We cannot flee from Him. We cannot hide from Him. He is everywhere and ready to hold and lead us. 

What is your perspective of God? 

What about you? What is your perspective of God? Is your perspective formed by Scripture? Or, is it formed by something else? It’s so important to make sure that our perspective comes from who God says He is in the Bible. 

The more we know God on a personal level and know His character, the easier it will be to truly trust Him with our lives. 

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Why You Can Be Joyful in Hard Times

Recently, I decided that I wanted to get a really good tan. In order to do that (without having to sit in the sun all day), I decided to go to the tanner. Now, I am not recommending going to the tanner or sitting out in the sun all day because I know the sun’s rays are harmful. Nor, am I saying that you need to be tan to be beautiful or have more worth or value. I am simply using this story to help make my point. 

Okay, moving right along.

Once entering the tanning room, I realized that the tanning bed looked like a coffin with clear walls. If you’ve ever been in one, you know what I’m talking about. Once I entered this coffin-like concoction, my mom turned the tanner on and closed the wall of the bed so I was surrounded on all sides.

It didn’t take long for me to become uncomfortable with this unfamiliar experience.

I had a towel over my face to avoid tanning it, and my mom told me not to open my eyes (which makes sense since the rays were powerful). This experience was only supposed to last for 10 minutes…but it began to feel like forever. I frequently asked my mom how much time was left because I couldn’t believe how slowly time was going by. I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to keep my eyes closed for a simple 10 minutes either! However, I endured because I knew that the outcome on the other side of this uncomfortable experience would be worth it. 

As odd as this may sound, I had a spiritual revelation while inside this glass tanning bed.  

My tanning experience reminded me that time on this earth can seem like forever. Sometimes time even feels like it’s standing still. We go through various trials, sufferings, and difficult seasons and our faith is tested. However, we know that enduring is worth it because we know how rewarding the result will be on the other side. We know that this earth is not our home (Hebrews 13:14). We know that our citizenship is in heaven, where every tear will be wiped away (Philippians 3:12). We know we will be rewarded for how we live this life on Earth, treasures that will last for eternity (Matthew 6:19-21).

We should count it all joy when we encounter any troubles, knowing that by enduring we are being made perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. We will be more mature on the other side of our endurance. We know that by enduring, we become more like Jesus.

As James 1:2-4 says, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” 

Perseverance involves choosing to do what is right, even when it is difficult.

The fact that my mom was with me in the tanning room, answering me when I called out to her, made the experience much better. 

Just like my mom’s presence with me then, knowing that God is with you always, in every circumstance, is comforting. While on this earth, while we endure, God is with us and He is our present help in time of need. He is our strength, and He guides us and takes care of us. He will never leave us, forsake us, or abandon us. When we are clueless, we can turn to Him for our source of wisdom. We can trust Him from the bottom of our heart and not try to figure out everything on our own.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” James 1:5-8

Knowing God is with us gives us confidence and hope.

Overall, instead of being angry or upset about troubles that may come your way, understand that the troubles you face are giving you an opportunity to endure. You can have great joy knowing that by enduring, you are being made perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1). You will become more mature in Christ and look more like Jesus. Your time here on Earth is nothing in comparison to eternity with Jesus in Heaven.

I suggest asking yourself these questions to point you in the right direction.

  1. What current troubles in your life can you view in a different light?
  2. What do you think it means to endure and persevere in your trials?

This guest post was written by: Sarah Chang

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